greetings from the sunshine state

Did I mention that the Ouisers were going to Florida? In all the hullaballoo that was my ranting this past week, I think I forgot to mention it. Either way, the Ouisers are in Florida. We decided to head south to volunteer for the Obama campaign. It's a battleground state you know.

Did you believe that? We're actually just on vacation, but I will gladly keep my Obama button on display. I'm a little peeved that my car magnet didn't arrive in time for the drive. I guess there's a pretty high demand for Obama/Biden merchandise.

We left this morning at 2am. We thought S would fall straight back to sleep when we put her in the car. No dice. She woke up as we strapped her into her seat, and she decided that something exciting must be happening...a Ouiser adventure, if you will. She stayed awake, singing and dancing to the Mary Poppins soundtrack for two whole hours. Then she slept for a couple of hours. She was awake for the last four hours, but she was a trooper. We borrowed a DVD player from my sisters, and that kept her pretty well occupied once the novelty of all of her books was exhausted.

Now we're here, safely in our adorbale little cottage. I'll post pictures later. We'll be taking the munchkin to the beach for the first time in about an hour. We decided to let it cool off a little before we head out. I'm not sure what I'm more excited about...seeing her reaction to the beach or seeing her round tummy and her swim diaper hanging out of her string bikini. I'm counting the minutes, peeps.

Until next time...

panic at the disco

Does anyone else feel desperate? Down in the pit of your stomach? Everyone keeps saying that democrats are panicking. Maybe we are, and maybe we’re not. But continually telling me that I’m panicking is making me panic.

I am desperate for Barack Obama to win. I can barely stomach the thought of four more years of the crap we’ve been subjected to for the last eight. I am desperate. I want to call Barack Obama and ask, “What can I do?” Seriously. What can I do?

I live in the south. In a community that falls somewhere between rural and suburban. In a state that didn’t even stick behind Al Gore, one of our own. Tennessee is not expected to go Obama. And by “not expected,” I mean that I think Obama would fall over dead from the shock if he somehow carried Tennessee.

It is so exceedingly frustrating to know that I can call people in my state and knock on their doors, and it’s not really going to make a difference because “one man, one vote” isn’t really true. We saw it in 2000. My sense of personal hopelessness is the reverse of what my friend J is feeling in Boston. Her state’s electoral votes are already going Obama, so she, too, feels that any actions she might take are moot points. I could convince someone in the grocery store checkout line to vote for Obama instead of McCain, but it really won’t change the outcome. Will it?

I, along with a substantial portion of the educated people in this country, have long known or suspected that the Electoral College is a broken system. Meant to make elections fairer? What? Really? Honestly, if every person in America voted, and each vote meant exactly the same as the next, that would be fair. One man, one vote indeed. Who can argue with that?

As it stands, however, people, like me, end up frustrated. Very, very frustrated. It’s all very “what’s the point?” And that attitude isn’t helping anyone. So, for now, I’ll continue to try to figure out how to contact Barack Obama to see what I can do. Maybe there will be a 1-800 number on the screen during the forum. 1-800-SAVE-USA? That seems about right.

i'm distracted by the catch-22

Really, it's two separate things. I am distracted, and it's a Catch-22.

First, the distraction. The great distraction. The great political ploy. When you have nothing to say, don't, just make sure the nation doesn't notice by giving them something else to focus on. The distraction? Sarah Palin. I stand firmly by the assertion that she shouldn't be an issue because she shouldn't be involved. But her addition to the ticket is proving to be a brilliant political move. While we're all busy arguing about her, we're not focusing on getting our guy elected. The only guy who has seemed to stay focused is Barack Obama. He keeps saying, and rightfully so, that when the dust settles around Sarah Palin, the choice will be clear. Change vs. More of the Same. It's true. I pray that it works. I pray that he's not overestimating the American public. I pray that the electorate will start to focus on the issues and not the people involved.

There's the catch-22, though. If Obama starts to deviate from his message, he's falling into their game, and I'm not sure Karl Rove's game is a game you can win if it's not in your nature to be nasty and calculating. If he doesn't jump into that game, though, he risks being seen as a softie who can't handle a fight. Obama is rumored to be letting the reins loose on the liberal 527s. I've got very mixed feelings about this. If he doesn't fight back, he'll get swift-boated. If he does, he's playing the same old political game. It's a fine line. Very fine. In my perfect idealist world, he can keep walking on the high road and the American people will see through the distraction of Sarah Palin and they will realize that John McCain isn't bringing anything new to the table, and Barack Obama will win. My perfect visions are rarely reality, though, and I fear that.

I'm trying desperately not to be distracted by Sarah Palin. I'm actually worried about the environment and education and healthcare and the economy. I hope that in tonight's "candidate's forum", those things will be discussed. I want to look past this inconsequential noise and hear what both candidates are actually saying. I want the rest of America to do the same.

Also, here's a link to a graphic from Anderson Cooper last night. See if it makes you as sick as it makes me. Um, why do the people with the most money deserve to keep more of it than the people with less? Don't the people with less money actually need their money to pay for things like food and medical treatment? Maybe I'm wrong.

And lastly for the day, I felt compelled to share this video. Thanks, Scarlet Lily.


I'm out, peeps. Don't miss the forum tonight. It'll be on CNN at 8/7C.

i'm a junkie

My husband doesn't know this, but I'm officially falling back into old habits. I think he suspects something, though. He was forced to watch Monday Night Football in the bedroom, so I could watch Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann in the living room. Somebody sign me up for rehab. I'm a political junkie.

I can safely say that the more I hear about Sarah Palin, the more she scares the hell out of me. Everything that comes out of her mouth is untrue to some degree. Most are just horribly misleading. Not lies, really, just omissions of facts. Of course, she's doing herself no favors. She's continually repeating the falsehoods that the media is ripping her for, and she's not giving them anything new to focus on. Luckily, she'll be interviewed this week, so maybe we'll learn something consequential about her. Maybe. Probably not. I imagine an interview with her in her kitchen making that damn moose stew they keep going on and on about.

Trouble is...she keeps plugging away, getting people all fired up. And that's the really scary part. The fact that no one knows much about her, but her feistiness (a word I am growing to hate) has all kinds of people excited. I keep hearing people say that they're thinking of voting for McCain now because they like Palin's feistiness. Feistiness is usually endearing for a few weeks, but if it keeps up, people will just start to think she's bitchy. That's how it goes. No one really likes to see a woman constantly stirring the pot. I just hope that clarity hits before she and her family hit the White House.

Honestly, I feel kind of bad for her. She's going to get dragged through the mud badly, because she will get painted as a total B even if she isn't. It happens to all female politicians, and it sucks. The problem for her is that she really, truly is underqualified for this job, so she and her family are going to be unnecessarily subjected to a trip through hell. Of course, she could have declined to run, but whatever.

Okay, S is waking up, so I'm out. Have a great day, peeps. A great day filled with happy thoughts of Barack and Joe...

politickin'

I decided I needed to go all out on the blog showing my support for the man. It's the equivalent of having "I heart Barack Obama" tattooed on my forehead in real life. Since that's clearly not an option, I'm going with blog support.

Please tell me that someone else out there suffered through the insanity that was Sarah Palin's speech last night. I don't even have anything to say about it because she didn't say anything of any consequence. At all. Not even close. The first fifteen minutes sounded like a pitch to elect her and her eskimo fisherman hubby prom queen and king. The rest of the speech was just ridiculous insult after ridiculous insult being hurled at Michelle and Barack Obama. It doesn't even merit a rebuttal because it was all so asinine. But, please, please tell me that someone else was watching the speech on NBC and saw Piper Palin (because that's the child's real name) spit shining her little brother's head. It was really one of the highlights of the night for me.

That...and the realization that I'm pretty sure Sarah Palin has a promising future as a Lenscrafters model when the McCain campaign tanks. I know, I know. That was tacky and irrelevant. She's really quite pretty. Then again, so is Blake Lively. She's not qualified to be VP either.

I'm out. I have to shower. I spent all my blog time choosing colors for the new layout. Happy Thursday, peeps. Here's a picture of S eating an apple in my aunt Mel's backyard on Monday.

is it bedtime yet?

This has been a day. You know what I mean.

S woke up this morning with a slightly leaky diaper. In and of itself, not an issue. It wasn't a blowout diaper leak, just a damp spot underneath her. A change of sheets was in order. I'd get around to it.

We had Kindermusik this morning, and S was excited to go, and she was so, so shockingly good. She sat in my lap in the circle. She sang along. She danced. She put the instruments away when asked. It was beautiful. I was so proud. That was the first thirty minutes. Then she noticed the giant sound system with the red blinking lights and the buttons. When she first approached it, I told her no, and she walked away and kept dancing along. I was dumbfounded as she never just walks away. I should've known it wouldn't last. A few minutes later, as we reformed our little circle to sing the shake, shake song (which was the only song she participated in last week), she made a beeline for the system again. This time there was some pushing and some huffing and some whining. I picked her up and carried her back to the group. She looked at me, turned around, and headed back to the sound system. I knelt in front of it and tried to talk to her and explain what was going on in very calm whispers, which works with her about 60% of the time. No dice. She tried to bite my face. She backed off, though, so I let it slide. One more attempt at the circle led to one more attempt to sabotage the stereo. This time I just stood in front of it and kept saying, "no." She was so mad that she was turning red, and then she bit my leg. As she screamed and kicked, I said goodbye to everyone else in the room (class was over at this point, and parents were gathering up shoes and bags and whatnot) and we left. Once we left the room, she was fine. Tears dried up. Sobs ceased. She said bye to her friend C from class in the parking lot. What the heck?? In reality, I know what happened. One: she is a toddler who lacks the vocabulary to express her anger and frustration, so she bit me. I get that. I know how it works. Two: I'm guessing that she was overly excited from class this time, and she just couldn't hold herself together. At least that's my guess. I'm no baby Dr. Phil, though. Any advice on how you other mamas of toddlers (or kids who used to be toddlers) have dealt with this would be very, very much appreciated.

Okay, so then we got home. She was totally calm and acting like herself. I worked on laundry and dishes. She pulled all of our dirty shoes from the mudroom into a pile and played with them. Perfectly safe activity. Then, as I walked into the bathroom to grab towels for the wash, I heard a weird smashing plastic sound from the mudroom. S had pulled the new bottle of detergent off the shelf, and the cap had busted. She was trying to put it back onto the shelf, which is over her head, but she couldn't quite reach, and...you guessed it...All Free and Clear was pouring all over her head. It was actually comical. She was trying to clean up her mess (or hide the evidence), but detergent in the eyes was not a problem I wanted to deal with, so we headed straight to the bathtub. While some detergent did make it to her eyeballs, it wasn't enough to worry about and by the end of her bath, the redness wasn't really noticeable. Just the same, being upstairs reminded me that...

...her sheets needed to be changed. No big deal at all. Except I smashed the very end of my fingertip into the crib rails trying to get the mattress back into the crib. It was one of those finger smashes that makes you sick at your stomach. Know what I mean?

Since then, the day has gone along swimmingly. But it's only 1:30, so I fear what will happen after she wakes up from her nap. At least her head and her eyeballs are clean. Silver linings...

in love...and not so much

We are safely home from our trip northward. I managed to pick up some sort of sickness while gone that led to a trip to the doctor on Monday, but I'm on the mend, and aside from the biggest boogers you've ever seen, S is on the mend as well. For those of you who've been holding your breath in anticipation, the Zappos outlet was a total waste of our time. Total. Waste. However, I picked up my birthday gift at the mall in Louisville. I got them in pumpkin, and I am super excited to wear them. The real story of the trip was the wedding. It was really, really fabulous. While I'd never met the groom, the wedding was exactly how I pictured V's wedding to be. It was at a conservatory, so the ceremony was set in front of beautiful, enormous tropical trees. They also had a salsa band, which was insanely fun. Everything was perfect...right down to the bride's green shoes.

Okay, now to my newest love. Reading Rock Books. It's an adorable little store that just opened around the corner from our house. S and I went in this morning. I want to go back already. I hope it does well because I'll likely cry if it goes away.

What I'm not loving so much. S's new residence in the land of terrible twos. I know she isn't two yet, but she's the size of a three-year-old, so I'm figuring it averages out. S has been a complete brat since we got home. She has decided that playing is no fun unless everything she owns is in the floor. This has led to me almost breaking my neck about a dozen times as I've slid on crayons, beans from her kitchen, you name it. She's been trying to hide in the curtains, climbing on the dining room chairs, dive-bombing anyone and everyone, and has generally required non-stop attention lest she injure herself...or me. It's been less than stellar to have her testing her boundaries and my limits while I'm under the weather, but when it rains it pours, I guess.

I've also come to the realization that it's time for S to learn the word "no." And beyond the "S, will you eat some chicken?" response that I normally get. I'm talking about the "No. You cannot climb on the bookshelf." kind of no. She has typically acted impervious to our directions, and that has to stop with the quickness. She had her first Kindermusik class Tuesday morning, and it was painfully obvious that she doesn't follow instructions. Granted all the other kids were older than her and had taken the class in the spring, but that's no excuse. I was okay with her wandering around the room exploring instead of sitting in the circle with the rest of the kiddos and mamas, after all, it was her first time in a completely different place. She wasn't being at all disruptive, so that was fine. The problems came with the instruments. She wanted all of them, or none of them, or she wanted to dump the boxes out, or she wanted to pull everything off the shelves to get to the bells. It was a lot of toddler behavior in a confined space and short time. I needed a drink desperately when I left. At minimum, I deserved a coffee or a bath. It was a Calgon commercial in the making. I am pretty sure she'll get the hang of it quickly. Otherwise, I may lose it.

Of course, I may lose it anyway. I'm not that stable of a person to begin with.

I'm out, peeps. Happy Hump Day.

freaky friday

M and I are totally MFEO. We are constantly bombarded by signs that prove this fact unequivocally. When one of us is traveling, we tend to call the other person just as they are thinking we are going to call. It's a little scary sometimes. I honestly believe that if something bad were to happen to one of us, the other would know the second it happened. We're just on the same wavelength 99.9% of the time, so you never, ever want to play Pictionary with us lest you like getting spanked.

We topped ourselves this morning. We're heading to Cincinnati this weekend for a wedding, and as I was walking through the kitchen, I thought to myself, "I bet M forgot his sunglasses since he didn't drive this morning." As I turned to get the phone to call him, it rang. It was M. He wanted me to get his sunglasses out of his car. We were a little taken aback by the freakiness of this incident. I'm telling you, MFEO.

We're out, peeps. We're heading to Louisville this afternoon, but we'll be making a pit stop at the Zappos outlet on the way. (Go ahead and drool, shoe lovers, I know you're green with envy.) I hope you all have lovely, shoe-filled weekends, too.

go ahead, make his day

Last night, M received some news that caused an excitement level right up there with Ed McMahon showing up at your doorstep with a giant check. My daddy called and invited him to the Monday Night Football game between the Titans and Colts. As we were in the middle of dinner, I took the call and answered for my dear husband. When I then asked him if he'd be interested, he almost fell out of his chair. His excitement is pretty cute, I must say. My jealousy, of course, cannot be understated. Maybe next year.

So, M's day...no, M's year has been made by my father. Thanks, pops. Now I'm off the hook for coming up with great birthday and Christmas gifts because, honestly, I can't top Peyton Manning on a Monday night and this is going to be the highlight of 2008 for him anyway.

That's all the news for today as I'm implementing one of my no-computer days. I'm out, peeps. Have a great hump day. I'll leave you with a little classic Manning...Peyton for M, Eli for S and B, and Archie for anyone who actually remembers him playing.

i'm all ears

We've been trying to get rid of Otis's ear infection for about a month. I'm sure I've mentioned before that our pooch has major ear issues. It's apparently common in labradoodles, and Otis gets them bad and often. We've got him on the most expensive dog food ever made (I am almost positive about this), which is supposed to help, but I really don't think it's doing it's job. For 70 bucks a bag, I don't want my dog to still get ear infections. Alas, he's had one for over a month, though its severity seems to wax and wane. I've resigned myself to the fact that we really do have to start flushing his ears every two weeks no matter how hard he fights, so last night we went at it. I can tell his ears are still bothering him, so we'll likely incur another hundred dollar vet bill next week. I can't tell you how excited I am.

Then we come to S. I mentioned that she's been a little under the weather, but she's been so uncharacteristically moody the past two days that I decided last night that I would take her to the doctor today. Then she woke up four times last night crying, which just reiterated the fact that something is amiss with my darling daughter. Turns out she has an ear infection, too (actually, a double ear infection). Awesome. So, we went from never having to go on antibiotics in sixteen months to twice in two months. I know I'm lucky that she's never had an ear infection, but it totally stinks, and I feel a little guilty about the fact that she was apparently in pain for the past two days and I just thought she was tired. Some kind of mom, huh?

So, the ears have it around here. I'm out, peeps.

the family that plays together

Hot on the heels of Kristie's perfect day, the Ouiser fam had one of our own. Saturday, finding ourselves with a complete and utter lack of plans and no to-do list, we headed to the zoo. While S has been a little under the weather (cough and a low-grade temp), she was feeling good...unlike our Father's Day trip to see the "amals" (there is neither an "i" nor and "n" in the word animals in S-language.) Anyway, S was super excited and claimed that she wanted to see birds when we asked her what animal she wanted to see. Luckily, there are some gorgeous Hyacinth Macaws as soon as you amble into the Nashville Zoo. She, of course, loved them...and then the monkeys...and then the meerkats. Then we saw the "ephants" and the "draffs" (elephants and giraffes for those of you in need of an S-to-English dictionary.), and she loved both of those, too. Then came the request for more birds. There is an exhibit called Lorikeet Landing. Basically, you walk into a big birdhouse, and the very lovely lorikeets fly all around your head. And, get this, they will land on you. I'm not sure if I've mentioned my fear of birds, but when I saw the sign saying that the birds might land on me (read: claw my eyeballs out and eat my brain through the then empty eye sockets), my heart sped up drastically. I didn't want to deny my daughter, though, so I sucked it up and walked in. And promptly walked out the other door and watched from outside. One of those little suckers buzzed the tower, so to speak, and I couldn't handle it. S thought it was cool. I did not. Thank goodness for daddy.

We were brave this time at the zoo, and we actually let S walk around instead of staying confined to her stroller. This meant that she was able to go into the "Unseen New World" exhibit to see the snakes and spiders and turtles and fish. She didn't care that much about it, and wanted to go back outside to see the "amals." Apparently, snakes and the like don't qualify as "amals" to an 18-month-old. We left the zoo around 10:45 as S had fallen and scraped her knee and it was approaching the we-must-leave-if-we-want-lunch-before-we-have-to-head-home time. We were able to beat the lunch crowd to Baja Burrito, which is one of my all time favorite places to eat. S enjoyed the pineapple salsa and the constant parade of people saying hello to her.

After her nap, the whole Ouiser clan headed to the tennis courts. S had a blast running around and chasing tennis balls and digging strings and racquets and whatnot out of the bags. Needless to say, her daddy LOVED it. He's already proclaimed that she has great form on her forehand as she would swat at balls as he bounced them on his racquet for her. We'll be buying her her very own tiny tennis racquet this week.

So that was our perfect Saturday. I think we must've worn her out completely as she's been borderline unbearable since then. We're assuming that she's just tired (we took her church and to play tennis again yesterday) and that the crankiness will die down. Otherwise, I may sell her to the gypsies.

I'm out, peeps. Have a great Monday.

oh no they didn't

Did anyone else see that Warner Brothers has decided not to release Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince until next July?? Are you kidding? How can they do this to me?

Add to my tag list #9: I am seriously unhappy with Warner Brothers. The movie had better be good.

FIVE SENSES FRIDAY:
Sight: S's new funny face (I promise pictures as soon as she'll do it for the camera.)

Sound: "I can do it myself, I'm a big kid now. I can do it myself, I've got potty power." Worst song ever for sticking in your head.

Smell: fresh tomato bread baking

Touch: kneading dough

Taste: not the tomato bread, which was highly disappointing; pb and honey on toast

i'm it??

So Feathernester has sent a bunch of us into a crazy self-involved downward spiral. Thanks a lot.

I'm joking.

Sort of.

She tagged a gaggle of us, and I have since spent most of my free time trying to think of anything interesting about me. Not all of my free time, mind you, as the OLYMPICS are on in the evenings, and there are few things that can tear my attention from all the happenings at the water cube. I'm a Phelps Phanatic right now.

I'll see if I can't stumble through this.

1. I am happy, and I really don't want to apologize for it. I am a seriously fortunate girl. I know that, and I'm thankful for it. However, M and I have worked hard to make our life what it is. I have a house that I love even though it keeps springing leaks and displaying all manner of old-house-quirkiness. I have a daughter that I adore. I have a dog that I can tolerate. I have a husband who is precious. I have friends and family that I love and that love me. When I try to think of things that I would change about my life, I can't think of anything. (Though I would change the location of M's job because that would make him happier.) So there, I'm happy as a clam, people. I really do love my life and all of its imperfections.

2. I am a total fraud. Or at least I suspect that I am. You know how I come off as super-confident? I both am and am not. I am 100% confident in myself. I know who I am, and it's exactly the person that I want to be. (Almost. I could stand to develop a little more patience.) I am not, however, confident about things that I do. I tend to give up on things that I'm not good at. If I think I might fail at something, I'll throw in the towel. There are numerous examples of this scattered through my life. It makes me seem like I'm better at things than I am. It's mostly because I don't do the things that I suck at. Actually, I'm not sure if this makes me a fraud or a quitter. Either way, that's probably more personal than I really need to get with this whole tag thing.

3. I don't function in messiness. It's not that I don't function well in messiness. I don't really function at all. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when we first moved because there were boxes sitting around the house. Boxes are not part of my decor. Once the boxes and their contents were put away, I was right as rain. I have instant panic attacks if I walk into my house and see piles on the kitchen counters or the dining room table. Like I said, I don't function in messiness. Everything has a home, people. Everything. If it doesn't have a home, it's home is the Goodwill bag.

4. I'd rather be beaten than eat mayonnaise, sour cream, or cottage cheese. I'm not talking about being beaten with a wet noodle. I'm talking "Jason Bourne thinks you killed his girlfriend" beaten. Once, when I was pregnant, I thought I wanted a chicken sandwich...with mayo...but with the mayo scraped off. Then I realized that being preggers is not excuse for being gross, and I laughed out loud at my own absurdity.

5. I do not like my body. I can't imagine what Carson Kressley would say if he got ahold of me. No matter what I do, or how much I try to play it off, I cannot get past my family always calling me Bologna Butt or telling me that I wasn't fat...I just needed to tone. I get seriously, seriously upset when I hear anyone telling any girl anything negative about her body. People have no idea what kind of damage they can do by saying insensitive things.

6. I love to cook. I love to cook for my family. I love to cook for my friends. I just love to cook. Chopping things makes me feel more complete. Making dinner for my husband makes me happy. If I could figure out a way to get dinner made without S hanging out in the kitchen begging for grapes, I might achieve nirvana. And, like Yum, I love pulling out the fancy dishes. I once served my younger sister orange juice in a crystal champagne flute, and I'm pretty sure she thought I'd lost my marbles.

7. I let my daughter watch TV, and I'm confident that she's going to be okay. S is obsessed with Mary Poppins, Cinderella, and her new DVD Potty Power. They are the first thing she asks for when she walks downstairs in the mornings. The first thing she asks for when we arrive home. She runs across the room and leaps onto the sofa, and watches TV. Then she gets bored and wants to play with her kitchen or her puzzles. Or she wants to go outside or read books. I'm operating on the assumption that she won't be addicted to TV if she is allowed to watch it but also realizes that other activities are fun, too. Everything in moderation, right?

8. I got through this whole list and didn't mention the environment or Barack Obama. It was difficult. I did it for all of you.

I need to shower, people. Have a great Wednesday, and pray for me as I try to decide between watching the Olympics tonight or Project Runway. I feel myself being tormented by the decision. I'm out. Oh, and Kristie, Lesley, and Angie E should all consider themselves tagged.

a nasty bug bite

Either Feathernester's love of stitchery is rubbing off on me or I've gotten a nasty bite from the sewing bug. What the heck? I was not expecting this. Now that I've made curtains and porch swing cushions and something that passes for a slipcover if you look at it kind of cross-eyed, I'm itching to get the machine back out. It's driving me bonkers. I've spent the last 20 minutes online looking at Amy Butler patterns, and I'm trying to decide how many of them I can get away with buying. (How many bags does a girl need?) Someone, help me. Explain this madness.

um, no. just no.

My husband is getting antsy. It's August, you know. August means football. The SI Fantasy Football guide arrived last week, which is not to imply that he hasn't already been "scouting." This week, while he is sadly out of town, the College Football Preview arrived. There is nothing quite as thrilling to M as the impending arrival of the gridiron. He's even crazy excited about Dickson County football. We'll be picking up our season tickets on Friday, and he'll be ordering Vanderbilt season tickets when he gets home. I think he'll feel like a more complete person once he has both season tickets in his possession.

Anyway, I, too am excited about football season. However, I am in denial about FAVRE. Brett Favre is not a NY Jet. He is a Green Bay Packer. I am not happy. Not happy at all. I just wanted him to retire and get into a little broadcasting so I could occasionally drool over him in all his salt-and-pepper glory. It's not to be, however, and I fear that he just won't know when to let go like so many great athletes before him.

I'm out. Happy Thursday, peeps.

the reigning queen of random??

Just because Roger Federer lost his kung-fu death grip on #1 last week doesn't mean I'm going down, too. Last week, after reading Scarlet Lily's hysterical missive to Wilford Brimley, M told me he thought she may take over as the most random blogger. "Take over from whom?" I asked.

"You."

What? My blog is random? I always thought I was so together. So organized. Okay, I am so not. I know that, but my husband telling me that my blog is the most random blog out there was a bit of a shock. So, I guess I have to defend my title. Scarlet, watch out.

Anyway, today's random, which I've noticed loads of times before (but I don't think I've ever mentioned):

Has anyone else noticed that Suri Cruise is still taking a bottle? That kid is almost two-and-a-half. Ditch the bottle. The kid needs a cup. I guess Tom and Katie figure that they can afford to buy her new teeth when she unequivocably ruins hers with that bottle. I won't even mention the fact that all the other preschoolers are going to start making fun of her. Fortunately for Suri, I'm sure her parents already have some therapists lined up for her. Also, I'm thinking of starting a petition to send to Katie Holmes to demand that she stop tight-rolling her jeans. If anyone else is interested in joining me in this endeavor, let me know. Or, if you've started tight-rolling your jeans thinking it's the next big thing, let me know that, too. I'll need to stop talking to you until you realize the error of your ways.

I'm out, peeps. Oh, S had her 18 month check-up this morning. 34 inches. 30 pounds, 8 ounces. She's still enormous...in case you were worried. And, while we were in the waiting room, I discovered a new magazine. Wondertime. Does anyone know anything about it??

that's just offensive

Yesterday morning, I took M to the airport at 6am. He's in San Diego for the week. S is at my parents' house, so when I got home I had the whole house and the whole day to myself. It was great. I pulled weeds in the garden. I cleaned, and I mean really cleaned, my house. I fixed the TotLocks, thanks to D. I caught up on laundry. Then I parked my butt on the couch and read some magazines. Then I turned on the tube, and I got lost in a Law and Order marathon. It was great. Then I realized that I have a pretty sore throat, and I feel like I have a lot of congestion even though I don't. (Turns out M feels the exact same way out in CA, bummer.) So I decided that I should do nothing else at all for the remainder of the evening other than watching L&O.

Then, of course, when I was ready for bed, I was wide awake from all the TV, so I watched Cold Case, which I never do because that show makes me nuts. The case they were trying to solve was the murder of a country singer from Tennessee. It was one of the most horrifyingly grotesque and offensive depictions of the south ever captured on celluloid. It was really pretty comical, but awful at the same time. First of all, the dead guy's name was Truck Sugar. Really? Really. Truck. That was bad enough, but then they made poor Truck and his brother and his heroin-addicted steel guitar player sound like the biggest bunch of simpletons ever to walk the earth upright. At this point, I was totally offended, but I was totally caught up in the show and couldn't turn away from the train wreck.

Okay, so the Philly detectives realize that they are going to have to go to Nashville to interview Truck's old bandmates, and they have to draw straws to see who has the misfortune of going to Nashville. They then proceed to think of every redneck stereotype they can think of, and they laugh heartily at the poor suckers who have to head south. Lovely.

Then they get to Nashville, and the lady who greets them at the police station is Charlene, and she's got big hair and a big flirty smile and she sounds like she couldn't possibly have graduated from high school. She then introduces them to the sherriff. "Big Daddy." I nearly passed out from my brain's lack of oxygen during the "oh-no-they-didn't" gasp. The sherriff only answers to Big Daddy (I might have bought this if they were supposed to be in Bucksnort or Bell Buckle or some other piddly town, but not Nashville), and he calls all the women "Little Sister." Oh, and by the end "Little Sister" Charlene had slept with the big-city yankee male cop because apparently the allure of the big city and bright lights is too much for a simple southern girl to resist. Once again, bye-bye oxygen.

As the show continues, you're introduced to Truck's wife, Honey Sugar. That's right, first name Honey. Last name Sugar. Sounds like something you'd name a horse. Of course, she was a small town farm girl from east Tennessee and all she wanted to do was ride horses, so maybe it's appropriate.

It went on and on like this. Every time I though they were done painting this ridiculously inaccurate picture of my beloved home state, it would get worse. The places they ate, the way people spoke, all of it was horrible. Turns out, the heroin addict shot Truck because he was going to turn down a record deal that made him ditch his brother (who was mercifully not named Tractor) and lose his cowboy hat and change his sound from country (which he'd grown up listening to in his mama's kitchen) to pop.

It was just awful, and now I'm going to put it in a bubble and let it go. Then, I'm going to resume my Zicam routine in an attempt to fend off this sore throat.

Have a great Monday, peeps. I'm out.

slacker

There are about a dozen things that I really need to be doing right now. Mopping floors. Dusting. Washing dishes. Washing the clothes M needs for his trip. Taking out the compost. Putting away laundry. The list goes on. Anyway, I'm clearly not doing any of those things because I'm sitting at the computer. (Captain Obvious, anyone?)

There was a reason for sitting at the computer originally. I need to find some window treatments for the bonus area upstairs to continue our efforts at making it habitable. Of course, I am easily sidetracked by the boundlessness of the world wide web. I cannot be trusted to sit down in front of the computer and complete only the one task I sat down to complete. I was distracted by this article on MSN today about Crocs. While I have no real opinion on Crocs other than they are super cute on my toddler's insanely stinky feet, the article is a hysterical bashing. Hysterical. It also contained a link to the website Stuff White People Like. I had heard of the site before, and OHMIGOSH. It is so funny. I had to make myself stop reading it so I could tell you all to go there right now and start reading. Make your Friday afternoon at work worth it. (Unless you're my husband, in which case, I implore you to work hard, come home, and chill out.) I only read a little bit, but the following made me almost pee.

From #5: Farmer's Markets, "That photo described the woman as a “local herb merchant.” Everything about that description is white."

I have no idea why that's so funny. But I fear that the pull of this website may prevent my dirty floors from being cleaned today.

Happy Friday, peeps. I'm out. I'd say I'm going to clean my house, but you'd know I'm lying. I've got to see what else I, as a white person, am supposed to like.

FIVE SENSES FRIDAY
Sight: the load of veggies my granddaddy brought over yesterday in a bucket
Sound: S "singing"
Smell: the garden
Touch: S kisses through the slats of her cribs
Taste: cherries, nectarines

housekeeping

Things have been a little nutso here for a few days.

Firstly, I've either got some sort of internal bruise left by the rugrat who decided that tap dancing on my stomach was a great idea on Sunday or I've got a gallbladder issue. Not really sure which it is, but I actually went to the doctor, which means that I am at least taking my internal organs seriously. I have an ultrasound Monday morning. I'll keep you posted on the state of my insides. Pins and needles, I know.

Secondly, we're getting ready for M to go out of town on business for an entire week. It's been awhile since he's been gone that long, and he's super busy trying to get ready to go, and he was away for a night already this week...so things are, as always, a little different without hubby/padre around.

Thirdly, we finally got someone to deal with our insulation conundrum. Sort of. Our attic is now home to 18 new bags of eco-friendly (or so I'm told) insulation. Underneath the house is still a lost cause, though. R, our fantastic handyman/painter, and his son got all suited up and dragged a bunch of rolls of insulation to the access point at the side of the house, crawled in and promptly got stuck (well, stuck-ish.) Apparently, about 15 feet in, the crawlspace becomes about ten inches high. They can't get through. So, they packed it up. They're returning the insulation, then giving us a refund for materials. M is not happy. He did, however, inform us that the bottom of the house was very solid and that he doesn't really think insulation is our major issue. He thinks there's a leak in a duct under the house. So, now we'll have to have someone come and check that out. And we just need to deal with the front door. I really don't want to freeze or have to move to the poor house when winter comes 'round.

Next on the list: our new shampoo. We've finally started emptying our house of unfriendly health and beauty products (unfriendly both to us and the environment). Is anyone else hooked on this website?? Anyway, I picked up some Burt's Bees Grapefruit and Sugar Beet Shampoo. This is my first foray into sulfate-free hair cleansing. I think it's going to take me awhile to get used to the lack of suds. Granted, there are some suds, but not the streams of bubbles that you're used to seeing flow down the drain. The problem is, those suds help spread the shampoo around. Now, I am literally tearing my hair out to try to get the ol' scalp clean as a whistle. My hair is breaking so badly that I'm worried I'll have to get another pixie-cut just to cover up the damage. I don't think M is having the same experience as his hair is so short anyway. I'm really at a loss for what to do here. If anyone else has already gone down this road, advice would be appreciated.

That's likely enough for today. I have a million things to do, and there is supposed to be someone here in an hour to look at the AC.

I'm out, peeps. Have a great Thursday.

too much excitement??

The P family traveled to Memphis again this weekend. It was my step-great-grandmother's 100th birthday. It was a very sweet party, chock full of family members I'd never heard of or met. They were all super nice, though, and one couple with twin boys only lives about an hour from us. I'm hoping we get to see them again as they seemed very cool.

After the party, which S spent napping in the hotel room, M took her swimming. We practically had to shoehorn her into her swimsuit. It was a 2T, but it was monumentally too short, so her boobies kept trying to squirt out of the front. She was cute, though, and once she got used to the water and got over the initial shock of a face full of water, she enjoyed herself.

Last night, the Feathernester fam came over for dinner, and that was really the most exciting part of the weekend. Not only did my child eat a plateful of chicken curry that did, in fact, turn her poop a bit yellow this morning, she got her first swig of rum. It was bound to happen sooner or later. She picked up a drink off of the end table and managed to pour it all over herself and the floor. I'm not actually 100% sure she got any in her mouth. The rum incident led to an immediate need for a bath as she was coated in sticky soda and spiced rum, so we invited L to take a bath with S. They were very cute...then S crapped in the tub. Again. Mad dash to get the girls away from the rapidly disintegrating poop.

After the girls were dried off and dressed, they made up a new game. L held onto a blanket while S pulled her all around the house. They both giggled nonstop. Cutest ever...but no pictures or video. Of course, I'm not sure that I want video evidence of my child looking like a hulking beast of a body builder.

That was our weekend in a nutshell. Hope everyone else had as much excitement as we did. I'm out, peeps. Enjoy the pics in all their un-doctored, red-eyed glory.

the decidedly un-green browning of my hair

I've got a few minutes to kill while my trusty box of hair color does it's thing, so I thought I'd post. I know, I know. You're shocked at the fact that I'm sitting at my computer soaking my head in all manner of non-eco friendly chemicals. Since I'm admitting that kind of thing, I just painted my nails with chemical-laden paint, too. I like to get all my earth-damaging primping done at one time as I have little patience for it.

While I do plan to green my nail polish as I run out, I don't think my choice of hair color is going to change, and it bothers me a little. I did look into some greener options, but I have what beauticians like to call "resistant gray" and henna and natural ingredients won't touch that. So, as I'm not really interested in looking like I'm pushing 50 instead of 30, the vicious cycle continues.

Anyway, that's all there is today. A ridiculous admission that I have copious amounts of gray hair that I cover up. Al Gore would shun me fo' shiz.

Have a great day filled with lots of medium maple brown happiness. I have to go lather, rinse, and condition.

tonight we're gonna party like Mr. P is 85

I don't have a lot of time to post as I spent the first two hours of S's nap curled up in the bed taking a lovely nap.

Anyway, we successfully threw a raging party for M's daddy Saturday evening. Not really so raging, actually. Just a bunch of people hanging out eating catfish and ice cream cake. Oh, and wearing hats as party hats were required. All-in-all, it was nice, and Mr. P was very happy. Here are some pictures. A longer post later...

Unfortunately, you can't see my sister S's Sorting Hat. She won the best hat award.

The birthday boy.

D made the mistake of letting us pick out his hat. I laughed out loud when M brought it home.

I am so happy we took this picture. S's grandpa and mine.

more than i can chew?

I've spent most of the past several days slumped over my sewing machine. Considering I'm somewhat less than an accomplished seamstress, I'm not sure exactly why I've attempted to tackle so much so quickly. I finished S's curtains, and I can tell you that I did that because I was too cheap to pay for custom curtains for her oddly sized windows. They need a little tweaking, but they turned out just fine. They're seersucker with pompom trim. They'll do.

Then I made cushions for the porch swings. Again, they aren't anywhere near perfect, but I like them. I was trying to be intelligent and make the covers removable so I could wash them, but I got too excited and cut the material without thinking it through, so I just had to leave one seam open. I basted it shut, so I'll just need to snip the thread to take the cushion apart. Not perfect. But I really like the material I picked out much better than anything I found pre-made...not to mention that we bought the long swings, and you really can't find cushions long enough for them. No one but my daddy will probably even notice that the imperfections. Actually, Mr. Feathernester will probably notice them, too.

Now I'm tackling the third, and most daunting, task. A slipcover for the wingback chair we brought over from Mr. P's house. I really don't know why I'm even trying this. It's not really going so badly, but sewing in three dimensions on a large scale is a serious pain in my neck. I've got the back of the chair, including the wings, and the seat finished, but now I have to figure out the arms, which will likely drive me bananas, but if I was able to figure out the wings, I'm sure I can do something with the arms. Then I just have to finish the bottom and cover the ottoman. I'm pretty sure I can finish the whole thing tonight with any luck at all. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not attempting to reupholster the chair, I'm making a slipcover, and slipcovers aren't supposed to fit perfectly. That's a good thing, because this is nothing like perfect.

I promise pictures of all the little projects soon. Until then, I'm out. I'm trying to straighten out my back, which has developed a little hump from leaning over to pin and sew, pin and sew.

Oh, we rescheduled S's photographs for this week, and I picked up a super cute dress for her this morning. The one I bought was blue with a cream sash and cream lace tatting at the neckline. She's going to be so sweet.

peas and carrots

So, I've come to the realization that S's diet needs to expand to things beyond grapes, blueberries, bananas, and one waffle a day. Actually, that's not a fair assessment, she asks for a cookie every night after dinner. Really, I know her diet isn't bad. She does generally eat what we eat for dinner, though she still refuses to eat meat. However, our days consist mostly of the child running around begging for grapes.

Look, I know they're just grapes. I know that she isn't begging for Starburst, so I should count my blessings. If you think that, I invite you to witness the "grape sh!t."

(Ouiser moment..."This is football, Clairee. All people care about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a d@mn about that grape sh!t.")

Anyway, S's poop is out of control. It is a very, very blackish purple. (I know that some of you out there wish that I would learn the concept of TMI.) She has to have more variation in her diet. It's been this week's quest. Luckily, they had organic apples for the first time in ages at Kroger last weekend, so I got some of those. (Don't even ask me how far they had to travel to get to our house. I don't know, and at this point, I can't think about it.) So, she has had at least one other fruit this week. I'm able to cut the apples into chunks, so she can carry them around and eat them out of her little snack cups. That seems to make her happy enough, but when she runs out, she still asks for more "gapes." Yesterday, however, I successfully got steamed carrots into the child, along with some peas, so I felt like I had just won a heavyweight fight. I've gotten her to eat a little more cheese by learning that she doesn't like cheese cut into cubes, she likes it in thin slices. She's also been drinking chocolate milk like it's going out of style, though she doesn't seem to take down Ovaltine as well as Hershey's syrup. Go figure. (Can anyone explain to me why Ovaltine gives the milk a slightly pink tint? Creepy.)

Basically, most of my week has revolved around S's digestive system, but not in the nasty way it did last week or the way Feathernester's did this week.

Okay, hours later...I'm back to the computer. I'm sure I won't be doing S's tummy any favors with the super-ripe blackberries that I picked up this morning from the Farmer's Market. I got them from a friend of my granddaddy's, which I thought was fun. I'm going to try out these muffins with them. I'm off to shower, peeps. Have a lovely weekend.

FIVE SENSES FRIDAY
Sight: red juice oozing out of cherries, the inside of S's mouth stained purple from last night's blueberry pancakes

Sound: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (S has become obsessed with "Poppins." That's my girl...practically perfect in every way.)

Smell: blueberry pancakes

Touch: S's sticky hands from ice cream cones

Taste: cherries, hot fudge sundaes, those yummy blueberry pancakes

where in the world are the ouisers?

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile. The Ouisers have been busy. It's not been terribly exciting around here, just busy.

We finally got around to fixing up Mr. P's house. We figured that three-and-a-half months was long enough to keep the place looking like the movers had just left. In our defense, we were waiting to have the walls painted, which happened the week of Scarlet Lily's wedding...and we had to wait on the custom blinds for all of his windows, and, yes, I realize that these are excuses. Either way, M and I spent all day at Mr. P's on Friday as S was at my daddy's house. Aside from still not finding the glass shelves for one cabinet, we are pretty much done with the house. The garage is another thing entirely. We'll get there, but at least we don't feel like deadbeats anymore.

We spent Friday night and Saturday morning working on our house. We hadn't really touched the upstairs, and we got most everything up there done. I'll be packing a couple of things away this afternoon, and then I have to make a decision on window treatments and a slipcover for a chair, and we'll be totally done with the rumpus room. I've also got to make curtains for S's room, and I need to get something on the walls in her bathroom. The list never ends.

The really big thing on our agenda is our insulation problem. Have I mentioned before that we basically have no insulation? It was a problem in the winter because the downstairs was so cold. Now we're roasting S. The poor kid is soaked in sweat when we get her up from her naps, and she gets pretty sweaty at bedtime, too. It makes window treatments upstairs seriously critical, too, as we know that curtains will help to reflect the heat back outside. I'll be working on the curtains for her room during her nap today. Hopefully, the curtains will also stop her newfound habit of waking up with the sun. Since she slept like a rock at my daddy's house in a cool, dark room, we're coming to the realization that we've got to do something for the kid. Our laziness is the reason she's not sleeping the extra hour in the mornings. Once again, I guess we're out of the running for Parents of the Year. Not like that's uncharted territory for us.

So, boxes, pictures, insulation, curtains. That's enough for one week. And S is having her picture made Thursday morning, so I need to find a dress. And M and I are trying to decide on a mini-vacation just for us in September or October. We were already thinking about Maine, and based on MoWask's rave reviews, I've been looking into it more thoroughly. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, it's almost naptime, which means I need to dig out the sewing machine. Have a great Tuesday, peeps. Here are some pictures from the weekend.

The Ouisers were out of town again last weekend. For a wedding. What can I say? We're popular wedding guests. This week's wedding was in Memphis, which meant that S finally got to meet the Memphis peeps. Unfortunately, she managed to have some nasty poopers while we were gone, but I think things turned out just fine.

She made a new friend. She had a blast playing with H, and she showed it by kissing him about a dozen times. Seriously, kid, don't give away the farm. Here are a few pictures...I don't really have time to write today. I've got to do some research on why my beans aren't growing.

Have a great hump day, peeps.

M and S checking out the church.

Pre-breakfast snack in the hotel room.

Showing off her new disgusting habit. That could've been a great picture.

Splashing in a puddle.

Questionable moral character?

Loving the polar bears. She got super excited every time they swam by.

ralph? ralph nader?

Nope. Not Ralph Nader. Just ralph. As in puke. As in vomitrocious. As in the stomach bug that hit the P family. I won't gross you out with the details, but S picked it up from my wonderful brother last weekend while we were away, and she gave it to me and M in turn. She spent most of Monday puking on us, but she was fine in 24 hours, as was I yesterday. I suspect M will be back to normal around 8pm. I will tell you that S's enormous breakfast puke on Monday smelled like a smoothie as the kid had eaten a banana and a couple of handfuls of blueberries and strawberries. Gross observation, I know. It was pleasant, though, as far as puke goes.

Moving on. Vomit just isn't as interesting as it was in third grade.

Welcome back to the blogosphere, L. I wholeheartedly await your wittiness on a regular basis.

Oh, I have a new favorite thing. White Vinegar in the washing machine. We've been using dryer balls in lieu of any type of fabric softener for several months now. The clothes from the dryer were coming out a smidgen too staticky, and the clothes from the drying rack were too stiff. Enter white vinegar. Our clothes are now softer, less staticky, and I don't feel the need to beat the clothes from the drying rack with a stick to make them soft enough to wear. I highly recommend it. Here's a link...

Lastly, the Ps are heading to Memphis tomorrow for a wedding. It's a quick trip, but it will be nice. S hasn't really met any of our Memphis "family," so we're looking forward to the shocked looks we'll get when people realize how friggin' huge she is. We're going to take her to the zoo Sunday morning before we head home, so she can see the polar bears. Really, M and I just love the polar bears. Hopefully, S will be entertained.

Alright, I can hear Otis gnawing on something in the other room. I'm out. Have a great weekend, peeps. Oh, but what the crap is going on at Wimbledon? I mean, on the men's side nobody really cares about the upsets. Everybody knows it's going to be Federer/Nadal again. But, ladies, come on. If I have to see a Williams sister in the finals (or, God forbid, both Williams sisters), I may have to boycott next year's tournament. Now I really am out.

hunka, hunka burnin' love

So, M and I spent the weekend in Canandaigua, NY for Scarlet Lily's wedding. Gorgeous. Perfect. Wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, almost. Seems the reception was a bit of a fire hazard. The tables at the reception were very pretty, and there were lots of votives around the centerpieces. Unfortunately, the folks at our table can't be trusted with open flames. Somehow (and I really don't know how), as the wedding party was being introduced and were entering, a wedding program that was at our table went up in flames. Not smoking, people. Burning. It was across the table from me, but the guys sitting there were trying to pat it out with more paper, which wasn't working because we're talking about legitimate flames. Someone finally had the good sense to throw their water onto our little campfire, which left our table in a haze of stinky smoke and a puddle and one now blackened napkin that was also used in the original attempts to "blot" the fire. It was a mess.

At least one other table had the same thing happen during dinner, so we didn't feel like the only table of ten morons in the room. And, lucky for us, we were able to open a door behind our table to let the smell out before the entire room started holding their noses and staring scornfully at the idiots at the "60s and 70s Table."

Other than that little incident, everything was just perfect, though M and I are both happy to be home as we were missing S a lot. He hasn't gotten to see her yet as our flight was delayed and we didn't get in before she went to bed. Bummer. Here are some pics from the weekend. I'm out, peeps.

The view.

The bride and her ladies.

The perfect storm.

Mr. Ouiser, Mr. Feathernester, and M

Sweetest thing ever.

The remains.

The welcome wagon and all of her teeth.

a happy daddy's day

Let's start by saying that it was a great Father's Day in the Ouiser household. I hope all the daddies out there had great days, too.

Now back it up to last week. I think I forgot to mention that S puked all over me last week. That was on Tuesday. It was pretty uneventful, and I thought maybe she'd just eaten something that disagreed with her or that she'd gotten really upset and too hot when she wanted me to get her up from her nap. Whatever the cause, it was legitimate vomit, and it was all over me, one of the porch swings, and the front porch itself. She felt better afterward, though. Then she started getting some nasty eye boogers and a few sniffles, and then she had bags under her eyes and big blue circles. Then Friday, the snot arrived. By the bucketload. When she woke up Saturday morning with her eyes all but crusted shut and dried yellowish gray mucus all over her face, we decided to take her into the doctor's office. It's the first time the kid has ever been to the doctor for anything other than a check-up, so it was weird. She is on antibiotics for the first time in her life, and it seems to be working, which is a good thing as M and I are headed to NY for Scarlet Lily's wedding this weekend.

Her ailment, however, nearly messed up our daddy's day plans. We got M a membership to the Nashville Zoo as a gift. S and I took him to Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and donuts (duh) yesterday morning, and then we headed to Nashville. We had a really nice morning. We got there at 9 just as the zoo opened, so it wasn't hot or crowded. Unfortunately, S was a bit if a zombie, though she did perk up when she got to the petting zoo. She petted a goat, and then continued to say "GOOOOAT" and "animals more" for about fifteen minutes. She didn't last long after that, which foiled my plan to take M to Baja Burrito for lunch on the way home, but that's okay. I made him popovers for lunch, which were his only request for the weekend, so that worked out nicely. Then we took his dad to Cracker Barrel for dinner (the man ate so much that he put us to shame). On the way to dinner, we passed the Renaissance Center, and S started screaming "ball" over and over. Click here to see why. M found it totally hysterical.

Anyway, that's our weekend in a very tiny nutshell. It was actually a great weekend despite the sickness as we got to spend a lot of time together doing very little. Now it's back to normal...

Here are a few pics. You can tell the poor kid was totally out of it at the end. As M and I look quite happy despite that fact, you may choose to question our parenting skills. We probably deserve it.

the sunshine festival

Or, The Sonnenschein Festival, which is it's proper German name apparently. (Um, peeps, what's German for "festival?")

Saturday morning, the Ouiser peeps headed out on a long journey to the blink-and-you'll-miss-it town of Hohenwald, TN to attend The Sunshine Festival. The drive was an hour and fifteen minutes, which I knew was a little beyond S's hour-long tolerance for sitting still. She did, of course, fuss a lot on the way there. She then fussed a lot on the hour and fifteen minute drive home that began thirty minutes after we got there. The festival was a total bust. I should've known better. It was supposed to be some sort of hippie/sustainable living shendig, so we thought there might be something interesting. Not so much, really. Plus we sent two-and-a-half hours worth of emissions into the atmosphere trying to get there to be green. Duh. I feel like I need to start buying carbon credits for these kinds of boneheaded moves.

Anyway, we unloaded S from the car upon arriving in lovely downtown Hohenwald, and she flat out refused to go into the stroller, which we knew was coming as she'd been strapped into the carseat for so long. So, M carried her through the 90+ degree heat. We got to watch some old dudes carry in the flags for the presentation of colors as we made it there as soon as the festivities began, and we got to hear a little bluegrass , and we got to see a little girl clogging on a sheet of plywood. Poor kid probably melted in the heat as she had hair down to her butt and was wearing jeans.

We did talk to some people who run a business that insulates homes with straw, which we will be interested in when the time comes to build our farmhouse. No use right now, though. We got some information on the Elephant Sanctuary, and The Farm School tried to recruit S. Then we met Sam, the guy who co-founded a pretty cool little organization called CoolPeopleCare. He gave S a sticker, which she wore all day. We bought a book from him, and some local honey to try to help out the local beekeepers...and work naturally on M's ever-worsening allergies. Then we headed back to the car. I don't count the trip as a rousing success. It was at least something different, though, and we were all together and relaxed-ish. Next time we're looking for a family outing on a Saturday morning, we're heading to the Farmers Market. I love that place, but there just aren't enough vendors set up during the week to make the trip worthwhile. We need Saturday produce trips.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. I will tell you that one of the pointers in today's Ideal Bite was about fast food, and it relates to one of my biggest pet peeves. Taking too many napkins/ketchups/fire taco sauces/whatever. M and I are seriously anal about only taking two napkins if we're out. Even now that we have S. We'll get up and get more if we really, really have to, but it's such a total waste. Know what happens to those unused napkins? They get tossed. It drives me nuts. Same with those stupid packets. And plastic cutlery. I picked up Blizzards one night for me and M, and I refused plastic spoons, and you would've thought I asked the girl to just put the ice cream directly into my cupped hands for the drive home. I am guessing I'm the first person at the DC Dairy Queen to refuse the red plastic spoons. (Wow, two posts in two days talking about DQ. Nice.) Anyway, only take what you need people. I know it takes more effort to only take one napkin, but it's worth it. The other thing was- get out of your car instead of sitting in a drive thru. I am hereby resolving never to sit in a drive-thru again. If I require fast food, which I rarely do, I will haul my butt out of the car to get it. Sonic is an exception, though, as we always turn the car off while we wait for roller-skating carhops to bring us our heart attacks in sandwich form.

I have to stop now. I have legitimate things to do. Have a great Thursday, peeps. That is, if you actually stuck with this insanely boring post. Sorry for wasting the minutes off of your life.

hot eats, cool treats

We took S to Dairy Queen Friday after dinner. It was a hit. I thought you'd like to see for yourselves.

stick a fork in me

What's been happening in the P household? Hmmm...

Potty-training has been abandoned. S was completely stressed out. She's not ready, and that's okay.


M nearly had dinner come out of his nose last night because S has learned a new word. The word is "fork," but S can't really pronounce R's. I'm guessing you can figure out what "fork" comes out sounding like. She said it about thirty times in rapid succession at dinner last night, and M's face was bright red as he tried not to burst into fits of tears from the laughter. It was pretty funny.

S and I are still attempting to recover from potty training, so we've been totally low key. We've spent most of the past 24 hours dancing to the new Motown mix I made for her...and swinging on the porch swings...and eating grapes, which are her new favorite food. I think they kicked strawberries from the top spot simply because she can say grapes. Or, "gapes". Like I said, no "R's."

I would really, really love some chocolate chip cookies right now.

I am super excited about Barack Obama, and I think he should choose me as his running mate.

I'm going to bed. I really only posted so I'd remember the fork thing. I'm out. Sleep tight, little twiddlebugs.

m's shot at 12,000 words

Since I was already called out for not posting about my man Barack today (you know who you are), here's a shout out to all my Democrat peeps. Thank goodness...now let's go clobber us some John McCain. I feel like we should all start yelling in unison or something. Chanting, anyone??

Now, M just sat down and made his mosaic. Here you go. Can anyone guess the one word he used to describe himself? Classic.

a big day and a lot of pee

One. It's looking like a big day for our boy Barack. I'd be much more giddy if it wasn't for...

Two. A lot of pee. Lots and lots of pee. S has been telling us recently when she has pooped, and it's becoming easier to tell when she's doing number one or two, so we've decided to give the whole potty training thing a whirl. I am not someone who is expecting miracles. I know that 16 months is early, but she's showing some interest, so I thought I might as well try before I miss the early window and am stuck washing diapers for another year or so. (Though I am prepared for that and am fine with it...)

Anyway, we've been talking about the potty more lately, and I've had her sit on it a few times. Yesterday, she yanked on her diaper and said, "poop." So, we headed upstairs, but there was no poop in her diaper. She said, "no,' when I asked her if she needed to sit on the potty, so I put her diaper back on and let her play. She promptly took the diaper off, walked into the bathroom, looked inside her potty (then decided against it), crawled into her old duck bathtub, and peed. She looked pretty impressed with herself if I'm being honest. I told her how good she was for telling mommy that she had to go, but I let her know that she needed to pee in the potty not the tub. Moving on to this morning.

S hadn't pooped when she woke up, so I stripped her diaper off and we headed to the bathroom. She got the look, so I sat her on the potty...AND SHE POOPED! In the potty. Like a big girl. Then she stood up, looked at it, said, "shoo. Yuck," and walked away. It was great.

That's when I definitely decided to give this thing a real, honest-to-goodness try. We'll be spending a lot of time in the house for a couple of days I think. We're going to try the "Naked and $75" approach. I did buy her some training panties this morning...plus some flushable wipes and her own hand soap. I put some of the training panties on her when we got home and she peed everywhere in her seat during lunch. I thought it wasn't so bad...until I noticed pee dripping out of the chair half an hour later. Awesome. I then proceeded to roll up the new rug in the living room, which she thought was a super fun game. She has since peed in the floor twice, and the first time was a bit traumatic. I was in the kitchen. She was playing on the rolled up rug (climbing up, scooting off. rinse and repeat). I heard a pretty loud thud, which was immediately followed by some seriously pissed off screaming. She had peed in the floor then slipped in it trying to get to the rug. So, there she was laying naked in the floor, screaming, covered in pee. I picked her up (thereby soaking myself in pee), and held her, and explained what had happened. I sat her in her little rocking chair and asked her to stay there while I cleaned up. She decided to follow me, but it didn't end well. She slipped in the puddle again, making herself infinitely more angry. I did finally get the pee all cleaned up...and the girl calmed down.

She started playing again...then she crawled into her rocking chair with a book. Then she started whining. She was, of course, peeing in her chair. I picked her up, while she was peeing, and sat her on her potty (because it is totally sitting in the living room). This time she stayed right where I put her. I think she was afraid of falling again. I cleaned up the floor for the second time in about 45 minutes, and let her stay on the potty for a bit.

I think it's wearing her out. She was so tired at the end of all that, she basically just fell into my arms. She's napping now, but I realize that this is going to be really difficult for her (and the washing machine, which is currently full of pee-soaked towels). I think she's doing pretty well, though. She's whining now as she starts to pee...not just after, and that has to be considered a step in the right direction.

Anyway, I know that the success of this little experiment depends totally on her wanting to do this, so I've just got my fingers crossed, and I'm ready to shelve the whole thing if it doesn't work, but it can't hurt to try. Any advice from all of you mama-veterans is greatly, greatly appreciated.

I'm out, peeps. I am in desperate need of a shower.

this mosaic is worth 12,000 words

Since I lack the wherewithal to create my own post these days, I jumped on Feathernester's bandwagon. See her post here to figure out what this is all about.
Happy Monday, peeps.