- Michael Jackson was seriously adored. He was majorly weird, but people loved him.
- He was disturbingly obsessed with his own crotch. Everybody's got one, dude. There was really no need to thrust yours at us and rub it all the time like you did. But that's alright. It was your thing. Like sparkly socks and loafers.
- Britney Spears used to be crazy hot.
I'm off to Firefly.