Wednesday, June 06, 2012

i do not understand.

I have sincerely, truly always believed that everything happens for a reason.  From a religious perspective, I suppose I drank the Kool-Aid on the whole "I know the plans I have for you" thing. From a secular perspective, I suppose I'm a fatalist.  I don't know why, but it's always been firmly rooted in my psyche.  I suppose it helps me deal with things I don't like or particularly understand. I can even come up with reasons.  My grandmother passed away a week before my wedding, and I am convinced that it happened because she was too sick to attend my wedding in Memphis, thus she passed away so she could be there in spirit.  M's daddy passed away a week before T was born, and I know that he passed when he did because he was too ill to be a part of T's life and because his continuing to be so ill would've kept M from being fully present at the birth of his son and during the first weeks of his life.

I deeply believe these things.  I believe that every disappointment happens because the true purpose of life is just around the corner and couldn't be realized in any other way.

But today, my belief is massively shaken.

Many of you have followed Lucy Krull's struggle simply because of that little button on the sidebar of my blog.  Others of you, like me, know Kate and Erik.

I simply cannot understand why a child, Kate's sweet angel baby, should be put through this.  I cannot understand why she'd be made to suffer so much already, only to have it happen again.  I cannot understand how this can possibly be part of the plan for Lucy, for Kate or Erik, for Ella, or for Jack, who will likely not remember his beautiful, blonde older sister.

I feel lost today.

So, I can't honestly imagine the gut-wrenching reality that the Krull family is going through right now.  I can't fathom being in a place where you sincerely pray for mercy for your child after you've already sent up so many thousands of prayers to save her.

I don't generally ask for prayers. I always think it sounds hokey or selfish, and I think it gets overused for the wrong reasons.  But I'm asking you to pray or meditate or do whatever you do to communicate with the universe.  I'm asking you to pray for Lucy and the Krull family.

Then spend today being extra thankful for your own blessings because you might not always have them.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

i am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told.

The boxer. Otherwise known as "the boxing turtle." Otherwise known as an Eastern Box Turtle that lives in the wild kingdom.

Last week, I took a peek out of one of T's windows to see what I could see.  I spotted five different types of birds all at the same time and then I noticed something moving around on the ground that was different.  It was a turtle.

S and I went promptly outside to investigate our newest neighbor.  Then we came inside and did some turtle research.

Some days, life is so simple and perfect.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

since i have little to say...

(aside from the fact that 1030 church is amazing because you can make and eat pancakes then sit in the courtyard with your husband drinking coffee before anyone has to shower)

...I will show you what life looks like around here today.

While T sleeps, S is watching Ramona and Beezus because she "got sweaty" helping me pick up sticks in the yard.

While T sleeps and S watches TV, M is diligently working to remove the stump created by the chopping down of the whomping willow.

 While T sleeps, S watches TV, and M works his tail off, I made these rock sculptures to inspire him because that's the way art works and I "got sweaty" picking up sticks and raking.

While T slept, S watched TV, M worked on giving himself a heat stroke, and I did nothing of any consequence, our mailbox sat out by the road looking shiny and cool with a tree wrapped around it. I love that tree.
And there you have it, a lovely Sunday afternoon.