Thursday, July 09, 2009


At first glance, today should've been a good day. I need to finish the deck, which is a huge to-do, but I haven't been terribly stressed about it, especially since dear ol' hubby burst my "I will get the deck done for Friday's dinner party for seventeen people" bubble. Really, the only thing that I had to do today was go to Lowe's for more stain, and S has been awesome the past few days as I've continually dragged her in and out of Lowe's. So, I thought that would be a breeze. I called Feathernester with my brilliant plan.

"Let's pick blackberries and let the girls run around Lowe's."

Sounded good in theory. In practice, it didn't work out so well. For starters, it took 30 minutes of fruitless potty sitting before we could get out the door. Then I wanted to get cash so that I could stop by a little produce stand. I do have that little party tomorrow night, and I thought I'd pick up some tomatoes and squash. Alas, the lady in front of me was slow as molasses, and I forgot to take a magic pill this morning, so I had/have zero patience for slow ladies at ATMs and toddlers who scream from the backseat that, "Mom, we are at the bank. I want a sucker." Moving on...the produce stand couldn't sell me anything because "the cops are trying to run us off." What? Okay. Back in the car. To Aunt M and Uncle E's for blackberry pickin'.

I grabbed the colander I brought and all four of us headed to the bushes. L ate a couple of berries and lost interest. Instead, the girls thought climbing over a broken fence rail was more fun. Fine. Then S peed on herself, which reminds me, Aunt M and Uncle E, there's a pair of Cinderella panties in your yard. I forgot to pick them up. After the accident, the girls went to play in the front yard. Feathernester went with them while I mutilated my hands with thorns in my quest for berries. Then, I heard Feathernester yelling for S to stop. I assumed that S was picking on L, as usual. Then I heard the car horns. And some wailing. And I dropped the colander and took off. S is fine...she just ran into oncoming traffic. She was pretty shaken up, but not as badly as Feathernester who is probably still breathing heavily. So that was fun. The girls then proceeded to stomp in some mud and eat a ton of blackberries.

Then we left for Lowe's. In all the excitement that was trying to get two toddlers into two cars when they were both hot and one was pantie-less, I completely forgot to buckle S into her car seat. We were halfway to Lowe's when I heard, "Mom, I'm falling out of my seat." Could this day get any better?

At Lowe's angelic S totally disappeared and both of the girls thought it wildly hysterical to run shrieking through the aisles. Shoot me now. I don't deal well with shrieking. Especially without magic pills.

Once home, things got a little better until S decided to throw her entire container of play food, and when I told her to clean it up, she totally lost it. Totally. In the floor. Sobbing. I can't tell you how much I wanted to join her. But, I carried her, B, frog, and Princess Pinky up the stairs, made the bed that had been stripped because of a leaky diaper, and threw that child into the crib. Then I promptly walked myself downstairs and took a pill. Now here I am. I think I'll lie down now that I've gotten it all out.


Just Another Idealist said...

Sounds like quite a day. Normally, I read your posts from my desk @ work & think, "Man, being a stay-at-home mom sounds AWESOME. If only..." But, um, this day sounds not awesome. Hope it's getting better :-)

Anonymous said...

just a friendly reminder...please bring extra underwear this weekend.
at least a spare diaper

die Frau said...

Oh, dear. I can see why you might have needed ice cream for yourself. Hopefully all the badness got lumped into one day and this means you're clear for a while?


Kristie said...

You should have skipped the ice cream and went for wine!

VA said...

I need a magic pill after reading that story! You lost me at hearing a car horn blare.

Hope the rest of the week proves less eventful.


feather nester said...

Wow, it sounds even worse than it felt at the time when you lay it all out like that...

By the way, my word verification is "mesesses." Mesesses is certainly what that day was all about.