Friday, January 23, 2009

an out of body experience

Sometimes, I wish I could be someone else. That came out wrong. I wish I could change things about myself that seem to be pretty hardwired. Do you ever feel that way?

I woke up the other day, and I thought to myself, "I'm not going to act like myself today." I laid in bed, plotting my day as someone else. Someone capable of being laid back. I was not going to make the bed as soon as I got out of it. I was not going to empty the dishwasher first thing in the morning so that the day's dirty dishes could be put immediately into it. I was not going to do laundry. I was not going to pick up every single thing I saw tha twas out of place and put it into its rightful place. I was going to act normal.

When I got out of bed, I put on my slippers, prepared to walk out of the room and promptly turned back around and made the bed. Then I put away the remote that M had left on his night table. I had to because I knew that when I walked back into my room later, the unmade bed would irritate me. It would make me downright panicky. So I guess I'm incapable of being laid back. I'm sure that's no surprise to many of you. (Of course it's not. I blogged about sorting earlier.)

Today's "I am not laid back" dilemma revolves around cupcakes. We're having a little party for S's 2nd birthday tomorrow night. I'm making cupcakes today, and I'm torn. I have silicon cupcake liners that I love. I use them often. In fact, I bought them in November, and I've used them probably a dozen times. The problem is: they're red. S's party is "fancy posh." Girly. Pink and purple. Red cupcake liners don't match. I bought foil liners at the store, but I am feeling some serious guilt about using them because they'll have to be thrown away. I had trouble falling asleep last night as I tried to rationalize this issue in my head. I mean, seriously. Just use the disposable liners, right? I know. I just can't wrap my head around it.

One of these days, I'm going to realize that you all just tune into my blog to see what the freak show is up to today.

Have a great weekend, peeps.


die Frau said...

First of all, give yourself a break. Go ahead and make the bed if it makes you happy. If that's part of your routine, do it. When you start becoming Melvin from As Good as it Gets, then you can worry. Frankly, I'd love to switch to acting like you more often. My house would be a lot cleaner.

Second, I say use the disposables only so you can get rid of them. Once they're gone, don't buy any more and the question will become moot. Then you can look at it in terms of eco-friendliness only.

I've got her birthday marked on my calendar--I can't believe she's two already!

feather nester said...

Will it make you feel any better if I admit that I pick the fuzz and lint and crumbs off the living room rug by hand because my daughter is scared of the vacuum?

No? Well never mind then, because I don't. Who would do that? Not me.