Wednesday, September 24, 2008

sitting on my tongue, biting my hands.

Here's a little recap of my day...I actually wrote this all out on actual paper with an actual pen so I could give an accurate representation of how things went down.


Today I headed to my high school...on a hill in Dickson County... to register voters. I'm guessing most of the 18-year-olds registered last week, but here I am anyway. I'm sitting next to the Navy recruiter's table.

There is a kid at the table who's, I think, supposed to be helping recruitment efforts, but he's really just playing with a super bouncy ball and talking to his friends. He graduated last year. He's shipping out for basic next week. In Chicago. I doubt he's actually "shipping" anywhere. I wonder if he'll actually even be flown to Chicago or if they'll bus him. Anyway.

While I am absolutely required to remain mum on my love for all things Barack Obama, I'm forced to listen to the Navy newbie in his hemp necklace and white (gasp! After Labor Day!) flip flops tell everyone that they should vote for John McCain. No reason given. One of his friends keeps saying to people that Obama is just going to get shot if he's elected. I think my head might explode.

Oh. He just said to someone that he loves Sarah Palin. I really want to ask him if he's 100% comfortable with Sarah Palin being the puppetmaster of his life. A life in the military.

I have managed not to say anything.

I've adopted a new philosophy whereby I keep my cakehole shut while I "sleep on it." I really am curious to know how experienced military personnel feel about Sarah Palin, though. I can understand them backing McCain. He's one of them. But Sarah Palin as potential commander in chief?

Now I'm noticing that high school kids can be mean little brats. If I hear "you retard" one more time...

Some boys just made fun of "the Amish chick." She's clearly not Amish, though I'll wager she's a Pentecostal.

I just heard a rousing chorus of,"Don't vote for Obama. He's a terrorist." I want to smack those kids' parents as I hold them responsible.

So, so much drama. Two kids were just screaming in the hall over, "you totally ditched her." "I didn't ditch anyone." Blah. Blah. Remember when high school drama seemed real? Like, what will I wear to prom? drama. None of this economy stuff we have to deal with as adults.

Now there is a group of six guys at the Navy table, and they clearly have no interest in actually joining the Navy. I personally think that they have a vested interest in being morons. They keep picking up brochures and yelling, "I want to be a submariner," or,"No, man, let's be divers." I wish the recruiter would lay into them before I have to.

I'm starting to think that I may not make it out of this lunch period alive. I'm going to have an electrical outburst like Elle on Heroes.

Okay, there is a boy scout standing in front of my table singing. He's a little awkward in a 15-year-old way. He's carrying a Bible, and most people know that's like a big blinking sign directing people to make fun of you in high school. He's singing to a girl who is very pretty. She looks very cool in the popular/just outside the norm sort of way. The song he's singing is something about being born with a birth defect, but I can't tell if it's about him or not. The girl is being very sweet and attentive, but you can tell she feels strange about the whole situation as people are walking by and pointing and giggling. Okay, two of her friends just came up and blatantly made fun of her and the boy. She quipped back, "you're just jealous because you could never write a song like E can." Bless her heart, she tried. She has almost restored my faith in teenage humanity.

Oh, there it went. The Navy kid is flapping his gums again while he bounces that damn ball.

Now I'm sitting through the final lunch rotation. Keep breathing...

I'm almost there. A group of girls just brought a friend by, encouraging her to register. She did, happily. Then all of her friends echoed one sentiment, "just make sure you vote for Obama." It was hard to hide the smile, but I did because for two hours today I was nonpartisan.

Now that being nonpartisan is over, I feel the need to paint "OBAMA '08" all over my body and run naked through a football stadium. I'll sleep on it.


feather nester said...

Possibly your best post EVER!! Loved it! Sorry for the pain required to inspire it. :) Bless your patient little heart. More evidence that girls mature faster...

Anonymous said...

I don't know if the Bible or the Boy Scout uniform is the bigger blinking sign begging for riducule. Aw, poor kid. :(

mo wask said...

why sleep on it? ;)

Scarlet Lily said...

It's reading little anecdotes like this that reminds me that B and won't always live in the town voted "most enlightened in America" and that we may have to deal with - GASP! - uninformed conservatives one day soon. It's such a lovely little bubble of non-realism and the one thing I will *desperately* miss!

Also, my husband already screams at the television - what will I ever do when he meets real life people who are ignorant??

Bless your heart for having such tenacity - it's truly admirable.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my sympathy for you! you stayed strong girl, God Bless you for it! I must say I find it quite hysterical, it seemed that everything that could happen- happened. Except a drug bust, or other gross misconduct.Anyway, hold off on the whole running naked thing- that's a sure fire way of earning 'the big blinking sign of riducule.'

die Frau said...

And I deal with all of that every choice. Mind you, I have a little more power in my situation than you did, and I applaud you loudly for keeping your cool. I think I would've flipped into teacher mode and made a mild scene and tried to send them to the office.

Basically, you wrote a lot of what I'd love to put on my blog but don't for fear of getting canned.