Thursday, March 06, 2008

i'd rather be beaten

I love being a mom. Love it. Even when I'm annoyed and ready to pull my hair out, I love it. Let's start this post by saying that.

I just saw a picture of someone who was hugely pregnant. And, as I looked at it, I just thought, "I'd rather be beaten than be pregnant again." Everyone says that soon enough, I'll forget how much I disliked being preggers, (I am in awe of those people who enjoy pregnancy...God bless you.) and my love for cuddly babies will make me jump on the "let's have another kiddo" bandwagon. I can say unequivocally that I am nowhere near that point. Nowhere. Not the same ballpark. Not the same continent. Not the same galaxy.

I'm catching a lot of flack from most of my family because I really think I want just the one baby. I know, I know. I felt the collective gasp as you all read that statement. How often do you hear about anyone only wanting one kid? I'm supposed to have 2.5, right? Just like everyone else. I just don't think it's for me. I really don't. Someone once said to me, "Do you feel like the three of you are the Ps? Or do you feel like there is something missing?" I don't feel like we're missing anything (except those darn rain barrels). I feel like this is my family, and I am super happy with my little family. Don't fix it if it ain't broke, right?

I think if we were to decide that the P family needed to expand, I'd like to adopt. For me, I would rather take a child that needs a lot of love and a good home and give him those things than to have another baby, leaving some child somewhere without those things. There's a part of me that feels guilty that I didn't go that route already. It's a very small part because I am in love with every part of my daughter. Even her stinky toes. But, still, I feel like a hypocrite. And all of this is just speculation because I don't want the P family to expand at all. Not even a goldfish. Anyway, for now, I plan to do my part for the planet through population control. It's something.
This is a ridiculous post. And likely TMI. I'm out. I've got boxes to pack.


Strongmama said...

I don't think it's a ridiculous post at all. B and I get asked all the time, "When are you going to have your second?, Don't you want them close together? It's not going to get any easier as you get older..." I didn't mind being pregnant for the most part, but it would be totally different the second time around having to take care of another at the same time. The thought of doing it all again and changing my perfect little family scares me. Getting two up in the morning. Getting two to nap at the same time. I still would like to have one more; it's just the question of when. I think you should do whatever feels right to you. It's your body, your family, your love to give and you need to do what feels best for you. And S is only one-- you may--or may not feel differently in a few years and there's no need to rush it! You'll just need to keep the fam in suspense, which is what we're doing.

Sarah said...

I'm with Strongmama... your body, your life, your decisions. No one can ever know what's best for another family - you just have to go with what feels right for you. Plus, B wants like an entire football team, so you can just borrow some of ours when you feel like you need a kid fix :)

Angie said...

I am with the other ladies on this one. If 1 more person asks when #4 is coming, I will have to physically harm them(possibly in front of my 3 kids)! Who's to tell us how many kids to have and don't get me started on how to afford to educate them. I guess I should look at having to pay for private school as a perk for living in the land of Elvis and crappy schools! Maybe we should start our own meth lab to pay for it all. They are on every I have been told.

Stick to your guns, kiddo. Don't multiply just because of the pressure to do so. Remember how well this only child turned out.

Leslie said...

You're not crazy or wrong, or TMI-ing. Only you (and less so, M) can really decide this.
For the record: I look forward to being pregnant one day, I'm pretty sure I only want one, I'd be happy to adopt that one if pregnancy didn't happen, and I'd rather not have ANY if it didn't feel right.
We're all different. I'm thankful for that!

feather nester said...

Beleive me, I don't like the thought of a second at this point either! But, for me at least, I won't be able to make a clear decision for at least a couple years, I know.

Likewise, you know yourself and your family, and you will do what's right for you. You always have the right to change your mind, so you only really need to worry about what you want right now. Enjoy your baby and try not to worry about what others think you should or shouldn't do (easier said, I know). You're family's probably just surprised. They'll eventually get over it.

Angie said...

Aha! So this is why you don't care what I do with these diaper covers. :) For what it's worth (which is nothing) I hated being preggers too and would definitely consider expanding the E family through adoption.