Wednesday, December 02, 2009

letting go.

Seriously, folks. Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat and all that jazz. So, holiday stress is here and there is no reason for it. At least not at Casa de Ouiser. We've bought all but two gifts. They're even wrapped. The cards have gone out (if you didn't get one, I don't have your address). But somehow, I'm still a ball of anxiety. The decorations haven't even begun to come out. M is out of town, and I am actually smart enough not to try to haul them out myself...which would inevitably lead to a re-injured back. So, peeps, it's December 2nd, and our Advent Calendar is still in a box in the shed. Stressed. We're having a playdate tomorrow, and I don't know what to feed people. Stressed. My floors haven't been mopped in over a week, and the dust bunnies are taking over. Unless you can tell me a way to turn those suckers into Christmas decor...Stressed. I've gained something like eight pounds. Stressed. Holiday baking is coming. Stressed.

Now, let's back this up. Decorations don't really matter. They will be put out at some point, and M and S will love them when they're there. I know this is ridiculous. Feeding the playdate? As long as there's coffee, mamas are happy. A box of doughnuts would do it for the runts. No necessary stress. Seriously...who mops floors before a playdate? Hello. Eight pounds. Well, that sucks. I'm not going to lie. Holiday baking? Maybe I'll just make M's favorite and his dad's favorite this year. That might help keep those eight pounds from making friends anyway.

So, the kicker is that I know all this stress is unwarranted. It's just there anyway. I mean, I've got it good. I know how insanely fortunate I am, and I know how unfathomably unfortunate others are, and yet I have the audacity to be worried about all this trivial crap. It makes me sick. But it doesn't change anything.

Despite all that stress, here's the good stuff. S is feeling better. (Though I am a little stressed because it's 833 and she's still asleep and she's supposed to be at MDO in 27 minutes and I need to chill out because I'm starting to create wicked run on sentences.) S's quilt should be completed by the weekend. The binding is attached, but I have to finish it up by hand. I am actually really, really excited about this. We got our annual Christmas ornament from my family, and it is so perfect that I can't stand it. The cup of coffee in my hand is quite delicious. I am healthy. I am happy.

The bottom line is, I have to let go of the little things. Put it in a bubble, and let it go. Right? Right? Right. I'll work on that as soon as S wakes up and I get her out the door.


Wonderland said...

I think you know a few people who love you dearly who can relate quite closely to this post. I think this post isn't really about stress, it might actually be about anxiety. You might want to think about all the underlying anxiety you have and see if there are healthy things you can do to let it go (says the pot to the kettle... I know!). Give it a thought, sweetie. So many of us have our ways, if you want suggestions, we got em! xoxoxo.

Melissa said...

If it makes you feel any better, you are absolutely not alone! I agree with you completely, but the stress is already getting to me too! I tell myself to relax, but it just doesn't seem to happen. As much as I love xmas, I think I love January more!

mo wask said...

i can only remove one stress point. the advent calendar. we had gotten her a little chocolate one to give to her last weekend. so i'm shipping it today with some other stuff. so it might not get there until friday... but it is coming! so cross that off of your list. k?
and 5-10lbs has graced me in the last couple of months... traveling too much and too much stress in my life. stress causes weight to accumulate on me like fuzz balls. ugh!
* hugs *

ps. M would be proud of K's christmas collection... nutcrackers. funny, eh? he got one then two then three... now he's got a little collection going.

Kristie said...

Glad to know I am not alone! I started decorating a month ago. Five trees up and decorated, outside (looks like the Griswald's, thanks to G), mantle, stairs, entry way, the top of the cabinets, china, bathrooms, you name it, I have decorated it. Already so tired and the month is just beginning. One party down, two to go. At my house. Two cookie exchanges, a brunch, a small get-together. All G's department parties, kids parties. Sophie's birthday party. Construction on our basement has been extended through February. Woo.

Leslie said...

I understand. We have SO VERY MUCH that it's easy to be bogged down by little details until it feels like they'll take over. They won't. YOU are still in control.