Friday, November 09, 2007

just to clarify

Apparently, there is a bit of confusion. In my last post, I mentioned ironing linens. I apologize for being vague. I do not iron bed linens. I barely iron anything. Ever. I was, however, ironing the tablecloths and napkins from the weekend before I put them away. I don't want anyone lost in a shame spiral, worried that they are behind the curve by not ironing their pillowcases...and if I find out that you actually do iron your pillowcases, I will barf. Spare us both, please.

Anyway, as promised, a brief synopsis of S and the poopers. You may recall that we had one previous pooper incident during naked time.

Whoever says lightning never strikes twice was seriously mistaken. Very, very seriously mistaken. Monday night, S and I were hanging out in the living room with Mr. P after dinner. M was at the computer, which may as well be in the living room as it's really only about four feet away. S was happily playing during naked time. She was sitting in front of her toy box, pulling things out, chewing on them, discarding them into the "I already gnawed on this" pile. It was quite pleasant. Then I noticed her making a face, a "what the heck is in my mouth that tastes this bad?" face. She was trying to spit something out. I jumped up.

"What's in your mouth?"

Poop. Poop was in her mouth. She had pooped while she was sitting there and managed to wipe her hand in it. Then she licked it. She did not enjoy it. Neither did we. I picked her up like she was a bomb, and we rushed her to the kitchen sink where we promptly scrubbed her. In hindsight, it was funny. Sort of. But my kid ate crap.

"You eat pieces of $h!+ for breakfast?"

Well, not really for breakfast, more like an after dinner snack. Or the worst after dinner mint in the history of the world.

Lucky for us, she happened to be sitting on a gift bag that we'd been letting her play with, which means that we just picked it up and chucked it. Absolutely no cleaning of the carpet required. Small favors, people.

So, that's the story. All you lovely new mommies, have fun. Happy Friday, peeps. I've got to go check the progress of the guys replacing our gutters.

Sight: my handsome husband smiling at my beautiful daughter
Sound: S saying, "bye bye"
Smell: garlic-infused cream for mashed potatoes, yeast rolls baking
Touch: S's wet head after her baptism
Taste: chocolate bread pudding cupcakes, egg white omelet with cheddar cheese and red beans, fried chicken and garlic mashed potatoes


Strongmama said...

I don't think childhood is complete without one good poop story. And now S has hers. I don't think I told you ours. A few months ago I was doing the dishes and saw something in J's mouth. He was giving me that "I know I shouldn't have this, but I'm going to show you anyway" look. It was cat poop. Yes, cat poop. I called the vet because I didn't know what to do. She laughed at me. Thankfully he didn't chew or swallow it. Good thing yours was an easy clean up as well!

die Frau said...

So I can look forward to this one day? At least I'll know whom to call with my story. Whom, right? Anyway.

She's saying "bye-bye"? What else is she saying? I love that stuff! Do you know how excited I was when my friend A told me her daughter's first word was "animal"? Small thrills fuel my life. Thanks all the S. stories; I love all of them.

feather nester said...

I agree with die Frau! I didn't know she was saying anything! Do you have a video camera? Can you post a film clip? Sooooo exciting! And I loved the poop story as much this time as the first time. :)