Wednesday, January 26, 2011

something new to complain about.

Little Ouiser had a great birthday. I'll lead with that. And a picture for good measure...
...because I'm good to you, right? I made her biscuits and eggs for breakfast. We decorated some delicious cupcakes together. She played for hours with her friend S, and I don't think that either of them took a swing at the other. Her mama and I chatted. Little Ouiser rested on the couch watching the Strawberry Shortcake movie that I DVRed for her. Her daddy came home early, and we gave her her big present (more on that later, I assure you). We had the Feathernesters over for dinner, and the girls made their own pizzas. We ate. We sang to S. We had cupcakes. I read books to S and L (and T, I suppose). That's the birthday rundown. That's not what I'm hear to talk about today.

Today I want to talk about stuffed animals. I am serious.

I hate stuffed animals. Hate them. I fear I might be alone in this loathing because stuffed animals are everywhere. It's a kajillion dollar industry from what I can tell, and it's not slowing down because the darn things are so cute that people just keep buying them. And they are cute. And cuddly. Don't get me wrong, I see the appeal. Here's what I don't like.

S has approximately fifty-seven thousand stuffed animals, and she wants them all to live on her bed. Every morning we have to say "Good morning," to Froggy and Bubblegum Cake (a plush doll) that she sleeps with. Then when we make her bed, we say, "Good morning" to Rosie the Pillow Pet, Bea the bear, Pinky Princess the tie-dyed bear, Mouse, Duck, Sleeping Beauty, Curious George (who moonlights as Cosmo Brown from Singin' in the Rain, the aforementioned Froggy masquerades as Don Lockwood), Sheep, and Baby Stella the doll. We have to pile them just right onto her bed. Then we have to unload them again for rest time because there isn't room on her bed for her and all the animals. Then we reload after rest time. Then we unload again at bedtime. It gets tedious, and every single time that I try to move an animal to the play room, she drags it back because, "That's not where it goes, Mommy."

So what is one supposed to do with all the animals? I could buy one of those hanging toy basket things. I could buy one of those stuffed animal nets that hangs in a corner and makes stuffed animals a dust-trapping part of one's room decor. I could put them in a big basket. I know there are options, but if you employ one of those options, then the animals probably won't get played with, so what's the point in having them? This is not to imply that S plays with hers because she doesn't. The goofy things just take up space and make me crazy.

Look, she loves Froggy. He's been with her forever, and I could never part with Bea. Our friends B and S gave her to S when she was still in the hospital. But all those other ones? I'd throw them into a nice hot fire if I wouldn't get thrown into Mommy Dearest jail.

Am I alone in this? Am I?

Probably I'm the only person who cares enough to blog about stuffed animal hatred, but I think about it almost everyday, and when I saw this post during my morning internet surfing, I just couldn't contain my complaints any longer.

Now, I'm going to check on my daughter, who may or may not be hypnotized by her new Leapster.


sallee said...

you could send them with me to Ethiopia and the children there would LOVE them!!

feather nester said...

Maybe you need a new rule? No more incoming stuffed animals until one goes out? When she gets a new one, she'll have to decide whether to keep the new one, or say good-bye to one of the old ones? I was a stuffed animal hoarder as a child, too. I didn't play with them either, but I had emotional attachments to them. However, I could cajole myself into giving some up in exchange for something else I really wanted... Just a thought.

Scarlet Lily said...

If the above doesn't work or isn't fast enough, is there any chance of using the charity angle? Having her pick one or two to give to kids who don't have stuffed animals? And then secretly hanging on to them for a few weeks to ensure there's no major meltdowns? Just a guess.

Paper Bird and Little Fairy said...

Yeah, thankfully T shouldn't be so stuffed animal crazy. At one time LF had around seventy-five stuffed animals, so trust me, I get the "way-too-much" thing. But believe me, when she turns 11 or 12and you ask if it's okay if you put Froggie or Mary away, and she hits you with that "uh-mom-I'm-like-not-a-kid-anymore-who-the-heck-cares?" look, you'll suddenly be very attached to the little guys....

My suggestion, maybe it's time to create a special "bed" for the animals. A blanket on the floor, an old box specially decorated, anything you can store them in, out of the way, that S can still see them in, and even "tuck them in" without the constant hassle of into the bed, out of the bed.

But you definitely should start reducing now, mom always had us go through things and get rid of stuff otherwise (she said), "Santa wouldn't have room to put the new stuff". Donating is a great suggestion.

I know this is incredibly long, sorry, you don't have to publish this novel of a comment if you don't want to,


die Frau said...

Sounds like the above ladies have good suggestions.

My question is this: Isn't this just her getting ready for decorative pillows on her bed as an adult female? I don't mean in a creepy way; my mom has pillows on her bed that nobody is allowed to crush in any way or actually USE AS PILLOWS.

I'm just sayin'. ;-)

Strongmama said...

You really can't donate stuffed animals because of health concerns. I say get one of those wire hampers and tell her that four year olds only sleep with four stuffed animals on their bed at one time. She can swap them out every day if she wants and it can be a game or something. And in the meantime, just stop the new ones from coming in any way you can!

Wonderland said...

I also hate hate hate stuffed animals. I didn't understand the appeal when I was a child either. Now, I look at them and can only think about all the disgusting germs inside - skin cells and other nasty bits, like old pillows. Gross gross clutter. I'm with you.

mo wask said...

stuffies drive me nuts! i thin out the pile every so often and donate them. i have also let the world know (specifically my FIL) that we don't need any more! seems to have worked.
good luck!