i saw the sign.

Two funny things involving S...

Firstly, last Friday we went to meet my parents at the mall to pick up some football tickets. It's about an hour away. One stretch of the highway is pretty curvy. While we were in the curvy section, S called from the backseat for me to look at the picture she had drawn on her MagnaDoodle. I told her that I couldn't turn around because the road was curvy and I needed to pay very strict attention to driving so we would be safe. Then she asked, "Mommy, what does that sign say?"

"The sign that we're about to pass?" I asked.

"Yes."

"It says that the speed limit is 45 miles per hour."

"No, no. It says that you should turn around and look at what your kid drew."

Seriously, I could not stop laughing. I immediately endangered our lives by calling M to tell him. It was very funny.

Secondly, yesterday was her first school program. It was awesome. Watching your kid climb onto risers and sing with a group is very, very exciting. And adorable. And possibly one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. M and I were both absolutely giddy. Anyway, the tables at the program/feast were decorated with things the kids had made in class. The centerpiece was a copy of each child's recipe for cooking a turkey. Here's S's.

"Buy a turkey at the store. Wash it off real good. Add mustard, sliced hot dogs, strawberries, a dash of cornbread. Put it in the oven for 4 minutes at 3 degrees. Follow up with pumpkin pie and enjoy."

I am pretty sure this recipe will never be Ina-approved. But I think it might result in some nasty intestinal issues as four minutes at 3 degrees probably won't result in a safe internal temperature. Maybe we should talk about meat thermometers today??

Anyway, preschoolers are hysterical. In fact, while I've been typing this, she set up a garage sale in the living room. She made a table out of a box and put a storybook, a coloring book, a ribbon, and a small pail on top. She says she's going to sell them all. I hate to point out that I don't know where she'll get customers. I also have no idea where she learned about garage sales.

you are welcome.

Seriously. I love Jimmy Fallon. The Boss is a legend. Willow Smith's song is absurd.

a glimmer of sentimentality.

I am not a sentimental person. I don't feel the need for lots of little reminders of things. In fact, my doctor told me something interesting yesterday. Our next appointment is the big one: the is-it-a-boy-or-a-girl-ultrasound. (Surely no one is in shock about that information.) Anyway, if you bring in a blank DVD or five bucks, they'll make a DVD of your ultrasound. I literally said, "oh, I don't care about that." He nearly fell over. Apparently, I'm the first mama-to-be to turn down the DVD. Of course, I had to change my tune when I realized that Mr. Ouiser would be the only one able to attend the ultrasound with me, and I had to deny my stepmother's request to attend. Anyway, I'm not sentimental. Get it? I figure I'll remember the stuff that's worth remembering, and the other stuff is probably fluff.

I digress.

Today I've been working on getting the addresses together for our holiday cards. Some of you probably got an email from me asking to confirm your address. You see, I've had the same address book for about a decade. I've used an entire pencil eraser trying to get rid of addresses that I know have changed. About halfway through all the erasing, I thought, "I should just get a new address book and start over." Then I realized that this address book has been around since Mr. Ouiser's parents still lived in the house he grew up in and my grandmother was still alive. If I got a new one, those little pieces of our past would go with it. M's childhood address and my grandmother's name wouldn't be something that I ever ran across. I kept erasing, and I know that I am nowhere near ready to get rid of that address book.

All of this is pretty out of character for me, but I guess it seemed vaguely important.

Enjoy the rain, peeps. I'm off to make another cup of tea.

not relevant to anything.

So, this has nothing to do with anything other than it's something I found amusing.

I try not to go all Twilight/Harry Potter overkill on the blog, but I just read an article with a quote from Daniel Radcliffe about his supposed feud with Robert Pattinson.

"Someone was talking about this supposed rivalry between Rob Pattinson and me, and what's awesome about this is, between the pair of us, we are striking a blow for the paler man."

He continues to say, "We are white as sheets."

Very true, Harry, very true. Maybe that's why I like both franchises...I am also as white as a sheet. Hooray for being insanely pale. I suppose we now have famous people to look up to. Take that, Jennifer Aniston and all you other tanned celebrities.

there was an old lady...

...named Mellie.

Tomorrow is Mellie Mellie's birthday. We're having a little birthday dinner party for her, and S is once again wanting to go hog wild. She decided today that Mellie's favorite color is pink, so she needs a pink party. She also wants us to get balloons and party hats again, but I'm not doing it because I'm not running all over town looking for pink balloons. So...we decided to paint some sticks from the yard pink for a centerpiece. I'm hoping the excitement of the painted sticks and getting to help me make two desserts will be enough for her. I'll keep you posted.

beautiful.

This morning, S caught me looking at pictures of the dresses worn at last night's CMA awards. She commented on most of them, and then I got to Kimberly Williams, and she nearly plotzed. She went on and on and on about it and swore she was going to be Kimberly Williams and wear that dress when she grows up. Then she wanted to look at more dresses, so we spent the better part of an hour looking at dresses from awards shows from the past year. These three were her favorite*. Hands down.

After she finished looking at dresses online, she sat down in the corner with a notepad and a pen and drew pictures of princesses in pretty dresses.

Try and convince me she's not the girliest girl that ever lived. Go ahead, give it a shot.

Also, she wore a dance costume to get her flu shot today, and we had to take our own Barbie band-aid so she wouldn't have to have a Bugs Bunny one. Like I said, she's as girly as they come.

*These would not be my choices. Not even close. Please don't judge me. Though I will say Carey Mulligan is one of the absolute cutest actresses on the planet, and I do love the silhouette of her "sparkly dress."

things i've learned this fall.

I don't have a whole lot to say, but I am trying to post more. I know how you all miss me during my blogging absences. So, here are some things I've learned recently.

1. Kids clothes from Lands End are worth the money. They're not expensive...unless you're comparing them to Target or consignment. They are, however, worth every penny. They are comfortable. They don't seem to fade at all. They never shrink. Never shrinking is important when you're the parent of the-child-who-won't-stop-growing. Last year, I didn't dry ANYTHING of hers that wasn't a hand-me-down and thus already dried within an inch of its life. This year, I can dry her clothes, which is nice.
2. I over think my daughter's extra curricular activities. Seriously. S is in dance class. I don't think she likes it because she only participates half the time, and she told me last week that she never wanted to go back. Ever. I thought she'd love dance class, and I think she could love it but the age range in her class kind of sucks as the teacher has to cater to children who are way behind S developmentally. I think she gets a little bored. Anyway, she had a great time tumbling at L's party Saturday, so I am thinking about dropping dance in the spring and taking her to gymnastics. Then I remembered that she actually mentioned wanting to play soccer. So now I don't know what to do. Then I reminded myself that she's three, and it doesn't matter. The odds aren't great that she'll be the next Nastia Liukin or Steffi Graf or Mia Hamm, so I'm probably not doing irreparable damage if she doesn't do anything at all. I think I'll just chill out and see what happens.
3. Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do. This one has two parts. #3A has to do with parenting. A year ago I was all freaked out because S didn't know all her letters and some of her friends did. She refused to even talk about letters. But suddenly, she's all about letters. She talks about them all the time. She wants to write letters all the time. She drives us bananas wanting us to list words that start with different letters. She tells us every letter she sees on every sign we pass. Kids will do stuff when they're ready, and when they're ready: watch out. #3B is about the house. My condition meant that I couldn't go crazy getting the house done when we moved in, but we're getting there slowly. Amazingly, all the pictures not being hung is okay. It makes me a little crazy, but I have to pace myself, which is new. I've figured out that eating dinner as a family and reading books at bedtime and keeping our lives sane is more important than keeping our home neat...but I still like things to be neat. I'm not going crazy here.
4. It's probably okay to love your pet but not really like him very much. Meaning, I don't think I'll go to Hell for wanting to give the dog away 5 out of 7 days a week. I really do love him. I just don't like him sometimes. It's also probably okay to feel this way about people in your life.

I guess that's all...and it's really, really boring. But it's something, right??

dear santa.

Remember how two weeks ago I wanted to pitch all our stuff in a dumpster? Well, I'm done with that. Want to know why? I got Ina Garten's new cookbook yesterday, and I think she made a deal with the devil. Seriously. The book contains a pictorial list of 68 things she thinks she couldn't function without in her kitchen. 68 things. And this rather exhaustive list follows an explanation of why she likes to keep things simple around the kitchen. Granted, the things aren't crazy, and I have a lot of them (though mine are approximations, I can't afford a full set of All-Clad or LeCreuset). Ina's list is as follows, and I think it's okay to put it on here since I'm giving her credit, right??

Parchment paper for sheet pans, Cook's Illustrated, graduated glass bowls, baking mixes, Olio Santa Oil, spice drawer, personal recipe file, "Plan B," LeCreuset Dutch Ovens, All-Clad saute pans, Post-It Notes for seating, votive candles, Post-It Notes for platters, cake stands, extra mixing bowls for her Kitchen-Aid mixer, cake testers, chinese take out containers for picnics, flat platters, french bread baskets, gel floor mats, a large basket for trays, cast iron skillets, 2 dishwashers, sharp knives, All-Clad pots, white bakeware, an extra Cuisinart bowl, Peppermate peppermill, a large stockpot (I assume All-Clad), lots of timers, lots of sheet pans, grocery pads, parchment paper for baking pans, lots of measuring tools, thermometers, ice cream scoops, crocks for utensils, pop-up sponges, lemons and limes on the counter, salt crock, spoons and spatulas, a candy thermometer, white towels, tasting spoons, lots of white plates, dish towels for napkins, bog bowl for chilling wine, lots of white platters, pretty dessert plates, glasses for vases, placecards, unironed napkins, a chinese strainer, a box grater, a coffee grinder for spices, a salad spinner, kitchen twine, vegetable peelers, professional utensils, a rasp zester, professional plastic wrap, mise en place, a french rolling pin, cooking scale, a salad bowl, plastic storage containers, graduated stainless bowls, and pastry bags.

It's a big list, and you might've noticed that it can be repetitive. That is if you managed to read the whole list. Also, this list is for someone with a big kitchen. A kitchen with space for two dishwashers and huge baskets and loads of utensil crocks...not to mention the counterspace for a box of professional plastic wrap. (For the record, Ina's right: professional plastic wrap is vastly superior to the Saran Wrap or Cling Wrap you buy in the grocery. If you've spent enough time working in restaurants, you know this is true.)

A lot of the list is just good stuff, though. And basic stuff. And stuff I want. Like a graduated set of LeCreuset Dutch Ovens. Or the Peppermate. Or the kitchen twine, since I haven't found mine since the move. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you all know that I'm back to being a full-fledged American consumer who wants, wants, wants.

Have a great day, peeps.

in honor of #34

So, yesterday was M's 34th birthday. S and I made him a delicious chocolate cake, which she made festive with sprinkles and a word jumble. She also insisted on party hats and balloons for her daddy, so it was a little like a birthday party for a little kid. Then again, it was like a birthday party for her because she opened all of his presents for him and then threw them at him when she realized they weren't presents she wanted...except for the musical card from my family, which she's been playing with all day. I now hate the song "We Will Rock You" if anyone is keeping track of songs I hate.

Anyway, in honor of the chocolate cake that has finger marks in it from two very mischievous little girls, I give you this poem. Whenever I read it to S, I have to read it multiple times. I hope you enjoy it as much as she does...and as much as I enjoyed the piece of cake I ate while writing this post.

how much is too much?

Let's be honest: we didn't really pack or prepare for this move. Those of you who are familiar with "in town" moves might be familiar with this insanity. It went something like this:

We have eight boxes. Let's fill them up, take them to the castle, dump the stuff out and start again. We'll get a U-Haul one day to move the really big stuff. Done.

Only, I think I mentioned yesterday that I've not been myself lately. So, it wasn't Ouiser doing her usual type-A over-analyzed, over-prepared, over-thought dumping of stuff. It was Mr. Ouiser style, which was a more literal interpretation of "fill them up, take them to the castle, dump the stuff out and start again." And I'm not complaining. No ma'am. Mr. Ouiser almost single-handedly made this move happen. The problem is that when all your stuff is just in piles everywhere, it's a little overwhelming.

It's been well documented on this blog that I don't advocate the having of lots of things. I don't like having stuff for the sake of having it. In fact, I hate it. But right now?? Right now, I just can't see the point in all the stuff that I've got around here. And we're talking about stuff that I love. Mr. Ouiser's mother's china. His grandmother's crystal. Our clothes. Our shoes. There is just so, so much of everything. And I'm not with it enough to figure out where it all needs to go. I just spent half an hour delivering pictures around the house to hang on walls. And I still took several to the attic. I mean, if I've got so much stuff that in this giant house I have to store it in the attic, does that mean that I need to purge??

Maybe I'm over-thinking it. You know...Ouiser-style.

On a brighter note, here's another picture of my favorite little face from our Mammoth Cave excursion.

lucky number 600

This is my 600th post. Seriously. What on Earth have I rambled about in 600 posts? Besides nothing lately??

Anyway...

We've moved into the castle. At least all of our stuff and our bodies are in the castle. There's mysteriously been a lot of vomit in my life lately...and S had an ear infection...and I had strep during the move. It's been insane. Either way, we're

getting there, but there are no pictures, and I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for pictures. It's a slow process these days.

I just wanted to say hello. I know you've missed me. I'll placate you with a couple of pictures of S.

it sucks to be the fly.

Last night in the bathroom, I noticed the world's tiniest spider spinning a tiny web. I remember thinking, "I pay US Pest (eco-friendly, people) to rid my home of pests." And I almost squished the little guy, but I didn't. It was so small that I doubted it would make it long anyway, falling prey to my curious dog or something.

Fast forward to this morning. I looked over at the corner, and a huge fly was caught in the web. I pulled the whole thing down and flushed the poor dead fly. But I stood there in awe of nature. A little morbid. A lot fascinating.

Beyond my dealings with household pests, I had a great birthday weekend. I got a new Foundling necklace (mine's pink, I could only find a pic of the blue version), a fancy camera strap that I had been drooling over, and a night out with the hubby. He surprised me with Natalie Merchant tickets, and we grabbed dinner at SATCo. It was great. Then there was birthday lunch for me and Drew on Sunday...chicken and dressing and cheesecake. And I made dinner yesterday for his birthday: Ina's Company Pot Roast with mashed potatoes and peas and Kaitlin brought a yummy cake with strawberries. So things aren't half bad around here...aside from the fact that no one has bought our house, and I am really becoming offended. Really.

no more fever.

So S has been sick. Fever. Cough. That sort of thing. There has been a lot of apple juice consumed and a lot of television watched as I try to get her to rest. She was pretty much better yesterday, and her fever has been gone since mid-day yesterday, so I sent her to school today. Thank goodness.

It's been pretty low key around here as I've tried not to share our germs with anyone, and two days with my girl on the couch or on the guest bed left me plenty of time to read, so I devoured The Historian, which I enjoyed.

House update: cabinets are installed and are amazing and I am already in love with the pullout garbage can...and I am so giddy that I don't even mind run-on sentences. Painting will be done Friday. Then light fixtures can be installed. Counter top will take a week. Then carpet and cork. Then done. Hallelujah. It feels so good to almost have everyone out of my new old house. Then it will be all ours.

Now I must shower because Couch-to-5k makes me stinky, and I am afraid to stink up the preschool when I pick S up.

something i stumbled upon.

So, I just ran across this post.

I'm not sure, but maybe Small Notebook and I are related because I couldn't agree more.

I was particularly interested in the DustBuster argument. We totally had one when I was growing up, but it never got used. It was kind of a novelty. Anyway, I remember a couple of years ago when those Kone DustBuster things were introduced, and there were displays of them all over the place at Christmas and the commercials were on all the time, and I thought it was the single dumbest thing ever. One: who really needs a DustBuster? They have to stay charged, so they're a total energy suck. A sweeper and dust pan do great jobs on small messes, and if you really need vacuum-powered suction, you are likely to have a vacuum. Right? Two: if you are a person who cannot possibly live without a DustBuster in your life, do you really want to make it a part of your home decor? Really?

But enough about DustBusters. The whole idea of sticking to the classics is a pretty solid one. At least I think it's pretty solid. Take, for instance, my kitchen. Y'all know I love the kitchen, and I love a kitchen gadget. But there are some things I'll just never buy. Like a mandolin. I know they're supposed to be great, but even the ones that fold super small take up a lot of space. And I'd probably cut my fingers off. I'll just stick to my knives and cutting boards. And of course, I'd never get a wok. I've given away my waffle iron because it's a hassle. I think I scour my kitchen a couple of times a year to donate the stuff I never use. Like the garlic press. Cleaning a garlic press is a pain. Back to the knives and cutting board.

I kind of feel like there should be stickers all over the place with the slogan, "Keep it simple, Stupid." You know what I'm saying??

trying to chill.

Our lives have been nutty lately, and it's all of our own making. Well, mostly. M can't help when things get crazy at work.

The past several months have been a blur. There has been so, so much going on. It feels like the Ouisers aren't enjoying life together much lately because we're being pulled in a million different directions. I don't really think it's fair to S to put her in this craziness. I do not think that our schedules have adversely affected our daughter. I really don't. But I want our family to be calmer than this. And it has to start with some tough decisions. Or at least with saying no.

So I will say no. I've already started actually. There will not be any political campaigning by Ouiser this fall. None. And Mike McWherter is going to need help. Roy Herron probably will, too, but the help can't come from me. It's the first step to reclaiming my balance.

It can be hard when there is so much that I want to do. So much I want to help with. I want to start a community garden. I want to start gardens at our local elementary schools. I want to raise lots of money for the arts. I. Want. To. Do. More. Than. I. Can. Right. Now.

It is very frustrating.

delayed.

So my painter had surgery for prostate cancer. Who knows what's going on there. Needless to say, nothing is getting painted at my house. The new word on the street is "end of next week." Also, our cabinets got pushed back to next Tuesday or Wednesday...and apparently, the granite countertop happens a week after that. And the cork floor isn't going down until after the countertop in case the granite gets dropped...and ruins our beautiful, expensive cork floors. So we're just sitting around. Waiting. It feels like nothing is getting done, and I suppose that's okay because (in case you're keeping tabs) this house is still gleefully on the market.

Beyond the house, I went for a Girls Night Out on Tuesday night, and it was very fun. We painted and drank wine.

S made a sock puppet today. There was a LOT of Tacky Glue used to make the Pink-Flamingo-that-is-covered-with-buttons. Lots of glue. Lots of buttons.

Now I'm working on making I-am-so-sad-that-you're-moving-away-bread for my friend K while also thinking about making dinner. I am looking forward to dinner. I've been hitting the gym pretty hard the past couple of weeks, and I'm hungry.

That is all. I must mince some garlic.

so in love.

Okay. This whole remodel thing has kicked our butts. It's been dirty and expensive and full of little problems. But. Oh, but. I am so excited. It's almost done. 2-3 weeks, and we'll be finished. The painting should be complete by the end of this week. The marble shower was installed last Friday. The tile floor will be laid in the bathroom very soon. The cabinets will be installed this week (I think). We're so close, and having the walls painted is really making it seem like we are going to get to live there someday. Really.

In the meantime, we're still trying to unload this place, so if you know anyone looking for a wicked awesome house just off Main Street in Dickson, send them our way.

Until then, we'll continue keeping the furniture dusted, the beds made, the counters wiped down, and the floors swept and vacuumed. Seriously, I kept a pretty tidy house before, but I'm getting pretty sick of having the house always "on."

Okay, I'm going to read for a bit.

Toodles.

it will begin with the letter 'A'

S started preschool this morning. Like, actual preschool. Not Mother's Day Out. Preschool. With learning.

We went to Open House last night and met her teachers, and they told us that today they would start learning the letter 'A.' That is so exciting...though she already knows 'A,' so I was hoping they'd start with 'F.' She adamantly refuses to acknowledge that letter. Whatever. I'm excited for her. She was very sweet this morning, and she's way too independent already. She asked me, "Do you have to walk me to my classroom, Mommy?" Um, yes. I do.

So, my little girl is off at school with her lunch of peanut-butter-and-jelly-cut-in-rectangles-not-triangles, pretzels, grapes, and gummies. I am sitting here looking through all the pictures I took of her this morning and wondering how it's possible that this child of mine is already in preschool. It's pretty amazing...this whole being a mommy thing.

She started the photo session with a little disco. Unfortunately, the camera lens was foggy.
Every preschooler needs a funny face.
Her "packpack," which she claimed was very heavy once her lunch was packed.
I am a little afraid that she's going to be like Chandler Bing...no picture smile at all.

hello again.

The Ouiser peeps spent last weekend in Memphis, and it was hot. I think that living in Memphis for almost seven years desensitized me to the heat, but it was horrific. Don't get me wrong, it's hot here, too. In fact, it's the hottest summer ever. For serious. It's been miserably hot (mid-to-high 90s ) for awhile now, and when it rains (if it rains) it doesn't cool anything off, it just makes it more humid. Anyway, Memphis was a whole new league. There was heat radiating off of everything. All that concrete and asphalt made the city feel like an oven. When you opened the car door the heat hit you, not in the face, but from underneath you, like the ground was trying to cook you. Anyway, you might want to steer clear of the River City for the next few weeks. I will say that the barbecue nachos almost made the heat seem like a fair deal. Almost.

So that was random.

I'm really blogging because my sisters tagged me. Here you have it:

4 things you'd find in my bag:
I don't really have a bag, but S got her first backpack yesterday, so I'll tell you what's in that:
A scarf
A magnifying glass
Drumsticks
The Black Arrow by Robert Louis Stevenson
also: four wooden eggs (1 fried, 3 in the shell), a wooden pizza, a map of the Memphis Zoo, and a wooden knife and fork.

4 things you'd find in my purse:
Wallet
Face sunscreen stick
Mobile phone
A fan from Carole's wedding (I don't know why it's still there)

4 favorite things in my room (on the nightstand):
A stack of magazine articles (National Geographic) that I've been meaning to read
The Complete Works of Jane Austen
A picture of M from Austria
A picture of my grandparents from my cousin Daniyelle's wedding

4 things I'm currently into:
MI-5 (watching one episode a day while S rests)
Vanilla Caramel creamer
clementines
watching S make up and sing songs

4 things you don't know about me:
If you've been reading this blog since it began, you probably already know everything, but I'll try:
My earring holes no longer exist as I've been unable to tolerate earrings since I was pregnant with S.
I hate feet.
M and I have been watching LOTR: FOTR, and more than ever before, the bad guys are really, really freaking me out.
I don't like to call mobile phones cell phones because I think saying mobile phone sounds British and therefore it is cooler.

There you go, PB and LF. I tag Scarlet Lily, Yum, die Frau, and High Heels.

Until next time, peeps...

checking in.

I'm really only blogging to appease my husband and my Aunt M/Uncle E who totally laid a guilt trip on me Saturday night about my lack of blogging. Alas, I have nothing interesting to say. Nothing. Things are moving along at the new house, while the current Ouiser abode sits on the market. Seriously, somebody buy my adorable house.

So, what to report?? I seem to have caught some slight illness. Wicked sore throat. Achy. You know the drill. It seems to be getting better, though, and that's welcome. While I was resting today (during S's rest time) I watched The Importance of Being Earnest, and I loved it. You can't really go wrong with Colin Firth in a comedy. I love him so. Tonight, I think Mr. Ouiser is helping Mr. Feathernester schlep some furniture, so I'm trying to decide what I'll watch then. My current illness makes reading less than awesome, and Jane Austen is not easy to read anyway...thus Fanny Price must wait.

Really that's about it. Sad, I know. Until next time...and you never know when that will be...